Hotty Toddy, Y’all.

I love college football.

I hate college football.

Those two things seem contradictory, but here we are, just a few weeks out from my favorite time of year and I’m forced to admit that those two things are true at the same time.

I grew up in Mississippi, about thirty miles away from the University of Mississippi, during a sort of resurgence of Ole Miss football during the Archie Manning years. The Red Headed Kid from Drew (the small town in rural Mississippi where Archie grew up) put Ole Miss back in contention for the putative national championship.

Ole Miss has been my favorite since I first became aware of sports as a youngster and I hate LSU with the burning passion of a thousand suns.

Make that two thousand suns since Lane Kiffin, the Darth Vader of the SEC and overall scourge of college football, abandoned a special team legitimately in the hunt for a national college football championship for personal advancement last year.

I’ve written about my lifelong dedication to Colonel Rebel and my LSU-hate, so deep it is that I still hate LSU for beating the Rebels on Halloween night in Baton Rouge in 1959. Ole Miss led the game 3-0 and seemed to be on the way to a win, but deep in the fourth quarter, Billy Cannon’s 89-yard punt return resulted in the only touchdown scored in the game. Featuring several broken tackles, “The Run” gave the Tigers a 7-3 victory and became the marquee play of Cannon’s Heisman Trophy-winning season.

I was nine months old when it happened, so you know I can hold a grudge.

At the time of the game, LSU was ranked #1 and Ole Miss #3. Ole Miss won redemption by beating LSU 21-0 in the season ending Sugar Bowl and finished the season #1 in both major polls, but the die was cast.

That game did give rise to the second of two important maxims – 1) never get involved in a land war in Asia and 2) if you have LSU on your schedule and the game is in Baton Rouge; better make sure it is not a night game.

So, I’m a delusional traditionalist. Even though I went to college at a hated rival (for reasons that probably didn’t apply given how my career and life have worked out), the phrase “Be true to your school” means something to me.

I always wanted to play college ball. Who knew that being too small, too slow and lacking basic skills would get in the way, but I still wanted to do it. I guess my desire informed my feelings that if you were skilled – and lucky – enough to be chosen by a program, you should be loyal to that program do or die – and if you transfer out, you should have to sit for a year of penance before you regain your eligibility.

I was not completely against paying players, but I was against it based on the NIL concept. I understand the need to make money, but not enough to buy a Mercedes-AMG GT 63 Pro 4MATIC+ Coupe in cash.

Today’s top tier college football facilities look more like a resort than a training facility.

I don’t believe in making the term “student athlete” an oxymoron, and that is what I thought NIL money would do.

It has, and in the process has turned college football on its head. College football is now a mini-pro league but with fewer rules and restrictions. Transfers have little to no consequences, the NCAA is a joke that will punish a telephone call but ignore a football player playing for four schools in four years.

There is no school or team loyalty. It’s all about money now and apparently the transfer portal includes the NFL now.

The final nail for me is this latest TRO regarding NCAA eligibility rule changes in 2022/2023.

Collegiate athletes filed a lawsuit against the NCAA in Louisiana state court.

Where else would they file it?

Louisiana has become the Death Star to college football’s Alderaan.

Once again, a district court judge messing where they have no business, granted the plaintiffs “a temporary restraining order ... to return to college for one more season.” 16 football players, several of whom who had “signed with NFL teams and participated in training camps earlier this month” were part of the plaintiff group.

According to ESPN, three of the players, including former Ole Miss TE Dae’Quan Wright and DT Zxavian Harris and former Oregon State RB Anthony Hankerson, are “currently listed on NFL rosters” for the Browns, Cardinals and Seahawks, respectively. Those players have “expressed an interest in being released from their NFL contracts,” according to attorney Ryan Downton, and “if their NFL teams release them by Sept. 1 they will be allowed to join a college roster under the restraining order”

So, Dae’Quan Wright was waived by the Cleveland Browns on Sunday. By the time the sun set in Baton Rouge, he was the first active NFL player to enter the college transfer portal, with a deal already in place at LSU.

Of course, who else but LSU and Kiffin would be involved in this mess. Darth Vader oversaw the creation of the Death Star, so why would Darth Kiffin not preside over this mess.

Ole Miss brought back none of their former players.

Where it goes from here is anybody’s guess.

Right now, I’m favoring the Venkman Prophecy:

College football is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Old Testament, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - MASS HYSTERIA!

Of course, some of this was tongue-in-cheek, humorous satire (Kiffin is not Darth Vader, he’s more of a mercenary or bounty hunter – like Boba Fett), but most of it was like a good tiramisu, soaked in dripping hot coffee - and sarcasm.