Operation Epic Fury Has Been An Epic Fucking Disaster

On February 28th, the United States military launched a Tomahawk cruise missile into an elementary school in the southern Hormozgan province of Iran.

Some 170 young girls — fucking babies — were vaporized in the strike.

Now, 6 months later, the only thing that’s been consistent thing about this war is its barbaric idiocy.

Let’s tart with Trump’s plan — or more accurately the total and complete absence of one. The president has swung from demanding "unconditional surrender" to shrugging that Iran might just swap one ayatollah for an even more dangerous different one and now enjoy control over the Strait of Hormuz.

Then there's the messaging. Iranian leaders are "very rational people" on Sunday before markets open and villainous scum by Thursday.

What about our allies? Our brothers and sisters in arms have received a masterclass in how little their decades of steadfast cooperation are worth. The Europeans, the Gulf states, South Korea… They all hate us now.

And the most frustrating aspect of this whole fucking boondoggle is it was all so predictable and unnecessary.

Military officials and former officials have been saying for over a decade, going back to Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Mike Mullen in 2010, and CIA Director Leon Panetta in 2011, that airstrikes wouldn't destroy Iran's nuclear program, only delay it by a year or two at most, and that a premature strike could blow up the very diplomatic pressure that was actually working.

What’s more, the strikes on February 28th — when we bombed all the schoolgirls to smithereens — came in the middle of live negotiations between Washington and Tehran over the nuclear program. Trump sabotaged his own fucking diplomatic process!

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Experts at the Atlantic Council, Brookings, and nearly every think tank in DC spent days after the first strikes saying this would spiral into exactly the quagmire it’s become.

Iran’s own military told the world explicitly it would treat any attack as an existential threat and respond accordingly — and it did, hammering Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and Jordan with hundreds of missiles and drones and choking off a fifth of the planet’s oil supply through Hormuz, just like people said it would.

None of this was a surprise to anyone who was paying attention. It was a surprise only to the people who decided not to listen.

Meanwhile, the war grinds on with no discernible objective. There’s no fucking endgame!

This is why you don’t put a moronic reality TV star in the Oval Office.

This is why you don’t put an alleged violent drunkard like Hegseth in charge of the military.

But America did, and now we need to live with $4 dollar gasoline