One of the most common questions I hear is, “Does personality change over time?”
It’s a compelling question because most of us have evidence pointing in both directions.
Research tells a different story. Studies led by Brent Roberts, along with work by Daniel Mroczek and Christian Kandler, show that personality traits shift across adulthood. Conscientiousness often increases, and emotional stability tends to improve. Other traits shift with life circumstances, responsibilities, and experience.
In other words, people change, not overnight or completely, but meaningfully.
By the Styles
Using the DISC framework, which I teach through the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl styles, people often assume that change means becoming a different type of person.
An Eagle doesn’t suddenly wake up one day as a Dove. A Parrot doesn’t transform into an Owl. That’s rarely how growth works.
What usually changes is not the core of who we are, but the way we express our natural tendencies.
An Eagle early in their career often relies heavily on force. They move fast, decide quickly, and push hard for results. Over time, experience teaches restraint. They still want results, but they learn to listen longer, ask better questions, and influence rather than overpower.
Parrots often begin life overflowing with energy, enthusiasm, and ideas. Over time, many learn to channel that energy with more intention. They become better listeners, follow through more consistently, and focus without losing their spark.
Doves often spend years protecting harmony, sometimes at their own expense. As they grow, they discover that protecting harmony sometimes requires creating tension. They learn to speak up, set boundaries, and advocate for themselves without losing their caring nature.
Owls often begin by seeking more information, more certainty, and more time. But life rarely offers perfect clarity. Over time, many develop greater confidence in their judgment, make decisions with less data, and stop letting perfection slow them down.
Life Pulls More Out of Us Than We Knew Was There
One reason people appear to change is that life demands different things from us at different times. A Dove promoted to leadership may need to become more decisive. An Eagle taking over a struggling team may learn the importance of empathy. An Owl entrepreneur may discover the value of speed. A Parrot in crisis may uncover discipline they didn’t know they had.
At first, those behaviors feel uncomfortable. Then they feel familiar. Eventually, they become part of us, not because our personality changed completely, but because it expanded. The most effective people don’t abandon their style. They grow beyond its limitations.
Change Can Be Intentional
Perhaps the most encouraging finding from the research is that growth doesn’t have to be accidental.
Research led by Nathan Hudson suggests that when people intentionally work on specific traits and consistently practice new behaviors, measurable change can occur within weeks or months.
If that’s true, many of the habits, reactions, and tendencies we treat as permanent may be far more flexible than we imagine. They may be familiar and comfortable, but they are not fixed.
Your personality is your starting point, not your destiny.
The goal isn’t to become someone else. It’s to become more skillful, more self-aware, and more fully yourself than you were yesterday.
The most powerful version of you isn’t the one who stays the same. It’s the one who keeps evolving and does so on purpose.
About the Author:
Merrick Rosenberg is a keynote speaker, author, and founder of Take Flight Learning. He is the author of Personality Intelligence: Master the Art of Being You and The Chameleon, and the creator of the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl personality styles. Merrick helps people align their careers, relationships, and leadership with who they actually are, not whom they think they should be. Through his work, millions have learned how to understand themselves and others to build stronger teams, healthier relationships, and more grounded lives. When he’s not working, he’s either flying, teaching, or trying to get into the crow pose at yoga. Learn more at MerrickRosenberg.com and TakeFlightLearning.com.
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