Harry & Meghan’s Move: What If There Isn’t a “Good” Reason?

I promised a paid piece back in Monday’s newsletter (remember Monday?). In light of the breaking news that Harry & Meghan are moving back to the U.K. with their children as well as my own children going back to school, this week got away from me. It’ll be out next week.

News broke around 5pm EST on Wed., August 19th that Harry, Meghan and the children are moving to the U.K. this month. It was a predictable shit storm online.

Detractors of the couple viewed it as another proof point that Harry and Meghan are Hollywood failures and their fears over security, racism, etc. were unfounded at best, flat out lies at worst.

The news crackled through the fandom like heat lightning; you could feel the air thickening, see flashes of light, but the storm still has not broken. There is no relief. In the absence of rain, theories have emerged as to why the couple would move their family back to the U.K. Here are some reasons I’ve read:

Whether fans supported the decision or not, there was a general consensus that there had to be a “good reason” for the move. A justification.

There’s also perhaps this underlying fear, illustrated by one fan account on X. In a tweet, the account wrote that the couple had lost them if the news was true because they’ve been fighting hard for H&M for years. In a quote tweet, the account reasoned that, if the couple was moving back, then everything fans fought for paid off. The work is done.

I asked what specifically they fought for and what work felt complete.

I was called a bitch and a deranger. In hindsight, should have seen that one coming.

There’s a level of doubt here. If Harry and Meghan can move back and nothing significant has changed, what were we fighting for?

I understand how that can feel hurtful. If you spend any amount of time invested in someone, whether you know them or not, you are going to develop a level of intimacy with them. There’s a term for that: a parasocial relationship.

The problem is, fandom is a one-sided relationship, which means there is going to be a point where they make a decision that feels incongruent to you. Almost like a betrayal because it’s not what you “think” you know about them. It’s not aligned with the image in your mind.

Whenever news breaks about Harry & Meghan, people tell me that they won’t believe it unless it comes from the couple’s mouths.

Ok, well, Prince Harry and Meghan told us why they left the U.K. in their Netflix documentary, “Harry and Meghan”, and Prince Harry’s book, Spare. Not once did they say they’d never return. The British media painted “Spare” as Harry’s attack on his family to divert from Harry’s actual thesis: that the relationship between the media and the Palace is toxic. He wanted to break the cycle, not break his family.

The Sussexes left because their concerns were ignored, they weren’t being protected and, at times, they were offered up to the media on a silver platter. Despite all of that, Harry is not an anti-monarchist. If the Monarchy had accepted a half-in, half-out solution, Harry and Meghan would be living in a Commonwealth country representing the Crown’s interests. Maybe they’d be back in the U.K. by now.

This is something that the British media and fans of the couple tenuously agree on. Harry and Meghan’s move was a blow to the monarchy.

Most Royal Reporters and Monarchists: Prince Harry and Meghan were out to destroy tradition for their own selfish aims.

Sussex Fans: Prince Harry and Meghan were dismantling a hierarchical system built off stolen lands and stolen bodies.

It’s important to remember when the Sussexes left the U.K. It was the beginning of 2020, weeks before a global pandemic forced people inside their homes and cut them off from one another. Ahmaud Arbery was murdered for taking a run while Black in Georgia in Feb. 2020. Black Lives Matter protests hit a fever pitch in June 2020 with the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer the previous month. White people were putting black squares on their IG in a misunderstanding of what solidarity looks like and the book “White Fragility” was on backorder. It was a wild time!

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: Harry and Meghan never took up the mantle of “burning the system down.” It was thrust upon them by some. Just like the idea that they would never leave the California sunshine for the gray London winters.

They didn’t lie. They became a symbol for something greater in a world tuned in to systemic racism and inequality.

Prince Harry removed his family from a bad situation. They built a life in the U.S. on their terms. Now, they’ll return to the U.K. on their terms. Not “working Royals” or forced to play ball with the Rota system. They can focus on their kids, their businesses, their charity work, and tune out the rest. The British media is never going to tire of reporting on the Sussexes no matter what their home address is; maybe some of their time away was learning how to deal with that reality. Perhaps the positives of returning outweighed those negatives.

Can anyone judge if there’s a “good” reason for their move besides Harry and Meghan? Shouldn’t support for Harry & Meghan largely be support for their autonomy, whether or not people agree with their decisions?

Is that what people were fighting for?

-Meredith

(I’ve limited comments to free and paid supporters. If it gets out of hand, I will shut them off. Please be kind and thoughtful. I believe we can have a conversation where we differ in opinion without it turning into a cesspool. Prove me right!)

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