“Don’t get your hopes up for Valentine’s Day,” my mother said rather out of the blue, in the middle of a conversation about something completely unrelated.
“What?” I say, the clueless daughter I am. I think my dad and I were talking about investments.
“I’m just saying, don’t get your hopes up.” I conclude this must be coming from a protective motherly instinct. For context, this is the first Valentine’s Day this decade where I actually have a significant other, and I’m flying back home from my Asia trip on February 13th to be there for it. If you want to hear about last Valentine’s Day, I wrote about it here:
15: Great ways to dump people
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February 14, 2025
The following is an amalgamation of ideas, both real and imagined, derived from the experiences of people in my life. So I can’t really take credit for writing this. It is an attempt to make light, because what are we without humour? Hugeee thank you to the friends who contributed their wit to this, you know who you are and you have my eternal gratitude…
The timing of my return from Asia is very convenient, but by February 13th I will have been in Asia for almost three weeks, and I am already homesick. Plus I have to work. And you know what, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with your boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.
“What the heck?” I say, because I have no filter. “When have I ever gotten my hopes up about Valentine’s Day? What does that even mean?” Does she think I’m expecting to be taken out, to be wined and dined, to have my boyfriend parachute out of the sky and proclaim his love from the rooftops? Does she think I am expecting extravagant gifts? I try to think about where my mother would have inferred this from. Could it be from my Instagram and the fact that I like shopping?
The thing is, my sweet boyfriend did have a plan to go out for dinner on Valentine’s Day, to which I protested and demanded we cook and stay in and watch a movie and be cozy. Going out on Valentine’s Day is overrated. I deeply object to him spending inflated amounts on a prix fixe dinner while we people watch and gossip about who is performative, and I deeply object to the notion that we concentrate all grand acts of love to one day as indicated by Hallmark.
I did say I’d like a handwritten note and for the day to be just the two of us. But that’s all.
“Just…don’t expect him to get you anything or do anything.” my mother says, wary.
My mum knows me very well, but this is where she gets me all wrong. Because getting me anything has never been a part of my relationship. Rather, I reserve the right to opulence for myself. As someone who has spent the majority of Valentine’s Days very single, I’ve learned to make it an opportunity to treat myself.
It’s all about mindset: any occasion to celebrate must be seized. This applies to birthdays, Christmas, your 10 000th day on earth, Earth Day, National Sibling Day, etc. When it comes to Valentine’s Day - this is a cliché - it’s about all types of love. And, as with anything, when you give something you cannot expect the same in return. In that case, we must ensure we’re giving ourselves a little something.
With that in mind, here is a simple outline on how I normally spend Valentine’s Day.
The most important rule of finance applies to the start of our celebration of love. However, the usual terms are different at this time. I believe an act of love is something that comes by choice, not out of necessity. So we must pay ourselves with an opulent gesture, by getting ourselves something frivolous and hedonistic and beautiful. Valentine’s Day is not the day for the stock market. It is for glamour and utter delight and heaps of chocolate.
Never expect someone to get you exactly what you want - I think a gift for yourself is an act of self love. Here are some decadent gifts for your consideration:
1. A Sophie Bille Brahe jewellery box
2. You will need something to go in the jewellery box
3. Shoes that Sofia Coppola herself would approve of
4. A vintage perfume bottle to dab on your skin as you indulge in the ritual of getting ready to go out.
5. Lingerie - for you
6. On that note, this makes a great gift
7. On a similar note, consider these vintage Cartier lighters, available for shockingly less than $300.
8. I fear this veers slightly practical, but one most definitely needs a luxurious makeup brush set
I love luxurious stationary - nothing leaves an impression quite like it. It is a small but noticeable detail, and I know I’m not alone when I say I save every single card I’ve ever received. These sweet Smythson cards are sure to please. Burn a nice candle, play some Lana in the background, and use your favourite pen. Make it as meditative as journalling while you pour your heart out.
Shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, serum, oil, shower, shave, shower scent, body scrub. Make yourself squeaky clean and fresh, and spritz a little perfume on while naked afterwards. Wash away any past dating horrors.
And while you’re at it, here is a dreamy playlist to accompany your ritual (I’m sorry in advance that Cameron Winter is on it):
No need to deal with dinner. Get a late night reservation (or stay in) just for dessert and martinis. Valentine’s Day was always for the girls.
Happy love day! xx
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