When it gets to the end of the week, I need to pour myself a nice glass of wine, put my feet up, and relax with something to take my mind away from all this shitfuckery.
Which brings me to my latest addition to the Human Matters by Meaghan lineup.
The TGIFF Countdown.
If you subscribe to my newsletter, you might read the longer things that arrive in your inbox a couple of times a week. But because you’re doing far more important things with your day, you’re unlikely to have time to read my daily Notes. They’re a far looser, far swearier, and far funnier, mashup of things I stumble across during my daily saunter around the various social media platforms.
So if it looks like you guys are going to enjoy this, each Friday, I’m going to post the top ten Notes from the week, counting down from ten to one. This week, the whole list is free… my thank you to every single one of you lunatics for reading this far.
Plan is that from next week, numbers six through ten on the hitlist stay free. Always. But numbers five down to one… the ones that made me wheeze with laughter, and occasionally regret hitting ‘post’… move behind the paywall for my paid subscribers. If you’ve been on the fence about upgrading, this is about as low-stakes a reason as you’ll get: for less than the price of a coffee, you get the funniest, cringiest, most outrageous things I find on the internet each week. It’s “Funniest home videos” for the 21st century.
And the perfect way to wind down at the end of the week.
Don’t believe me?
Well, take a look. And share it with your friends.
How do you rate my choices? Did I miss any off the list? Share them in the comments so we can all enjoy them.
And have a great weekend.
x Meaghan
The Cunt of Mostly Crisco launched his new rug, and the meme factory went into overdrive.
All aboard Hair Force One.
Coffee spit time. And I’m fucking serious this time… put down your hot beverage. Volume on. It’s all in the comments. And whatever ziplock bag of rotten tofu the fuck…. This is.
Where the fuck can I buy these dog shit bags? I don’t even have a dog.* I’ll just put my own shit into them.
*I do have a dog. But this is funnier.
Dying here. I love every fucking little thing about this. It’s the pinnacle in Larry David’s new show, Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness on HBO Max.
It’s the humour. The warmth. The memory of having the grown ups in charge. And the fact that the Oval Office doesn’t look like someone has set a developmentally challenged preschooler loose with a hot glue gun, a box of Temu decals, and a can of gold spray paint.
Understanding Australia 101.
No words. Other than this is uncannily accurate.
“We’re offering two choices on the flight this afternoon, ma’am. Would you rather the chicken, or the quiet piggy?”
Between this and the gutted Ewok hairpiece, the meme factory was kept busy this week.
News that the Cunt of Mostly Crisco had been smuggled out of Air Force One and onto a second plane via a catering van caused much hilarity. But the realisation that he did so upon receiving news that Iran was gunning for him during his stop in Turkey during the NATO summit, and abandoned his staff and the White House media corps on board the targetted jet? Less so.
So, BloJob Horseface got to ride the catering cart with the Cunt of Mostly Crisco while the White House press contingent, cabinet members, and staffers were left to go down in flames on the plane Iran had in its sights.
To be fair, those diapers aren’t going to change themselves.
And I haven’t seen chompers like that since I was trackside at the Melbourne Cup.
I don’t think this was the kind of spit roast they had in mind in Deliverance when they talked about squealing like a pig.
This week, I discovered the only legitimate use for generative AI.
This is why despots and oligarchs fear comedians. Because they are held to account by people who do not fear them and who speak the truth.
Jonathan Pie is one of the best.
He makes me laugh between the tears.
And that’s why he wins this week.
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