For many years, I have used “#shoespecimen” as a hashtag on a subset of my Instagram posts. As can be surmised by you—dear human reader—these posts feature shoes that exhibit outlandish designs, funky colors, or peculiar materials. In others words, fabulous fashion specimen of the footwear variety. And finding them “in the wild” (in thrifts stores) is one of my hobbies.
Previously, if you clicked on #shoespecimen, it took you to all of my previous shoe posts. What a joy it was to scroll through and remember all of these previous shoe sightings.
But no more. Now, when you click on #shoespecimen, the pages says “No results.” Instagram’s algorithm of elevating “relevancy” (i.e., something specific that matches the image) has crushed my specimen! Proof that an algorithm has no sense of humor!
And so, to make up for this tragedy, I present the following ShoeSpecimen collection— complete with accompanying heroic couplets!
1.1 Pink shoes
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Pink elevates the ego, lifts the sole. Crimson reduced to blush shows self-control.
1.2 Chartreuse shoes
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There is a time and place for subtlety... But be prepared for bright audacity.
1.3 Silver shoes
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Minuscule sparkles cling like drops of dew; Morning in tiny mirrors, silver-new.
1.4 White leather boots
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These boots were made for waltzing in the snow: Slow, quick, quick, slow -- smooth leather and a bow.
1.5 Spiky Camo shoes
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Verdant camo, hide me, help me blend. Golden spikes, your job is to defend.
1.6 Golden shoes
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O golden high-heeled slippers, shimmering shoes, Let us possess the world and be amused.
1.7 Teal shoes
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Small stars accumulate, tip-top throes, Breaking the cyan sea with twinkling toes.
1.8 Pink spiky shoes
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It is a plastic kind of painful pink That offers kindness with a piercing wink.
Final question: Does anyone actually own a pair of shoes with spikes?
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