A MATT-AZINE: The Ides Have It

Whoa, whoa. I know you’re clamoring. It’s okay. We’re back, kids.

What have you been up to since we last chatted? Turned heel on a down-on-their-luck pal? Taken direct action to become illiterate? Dismantled your smoke alarms? Started charging your friends double for the beers you bring to their house?

According to V’s tax guy, we should be stocking up on nonperishables, because the now-delayed tariffs are really gonna hurt. But, like, where the hell am I gonna keep all this paper towel? Scary.

And yet, it’s Friday. It’s sunny here in Brooklyn. The Parker Posey Gap ad exists.

There are buds on the tree outside my front window. They’ll be flowers soon. I’ve started to hear birds in the morning again. We spring forward this Sunday, gaining an hour of light.

We gain the light. Always. Hang in there, folks.

Until then, let’s review….

-Happy Mayhem release day to all who celebrate! 3 Dollar Bill sold out a launch/listening party. Is she showing up for that? Is that like asking if Guy Fieri is ever in the kitchen at a Guy Fieri restaurant?

-Howabout that Traitors finale? Won’t spoil anything here, but Gabby Windey is a national treasure.

-Justice for Demi!

-The Bowen Yang Overexposure Arc is cresting to its peak, what with that CeraVe ad and the tepid Oscars bit and his sidekick everywhere. We need a break.

-New Haim coming soon. (Is that gay? I’m not sure. But Rostam from Vampire Weekend is a producer on it and I’ve got a gay story about him, so close enough.)

-OUT: Biceps (2024’s vanity muscle) IN: Traps (2025’s vanity muscle) Get those upright rows in, fellas!

Now, onto the features…

Something I learned recently: “Charm and disarm” is the overall editorial direction for Amazon retail’s customer-facing copy. Not disarm like someone has a gun and you’re gonna krav maga them. It’s more like, make a stranger you’ve just met smile. I don’t think they’re exactly pulling it off more than they’re just being punny. But the idea of “charm and disarm” is quintessential Nice Boy™ thinking.

Make someone feel good, make yourself look good. How do you do it? By finding something they’re wearing that you like and pointing it out.

Yes, I’m saying be generous with a compliment.

Admittedly, I never really considered the power of the compliment until I started working at a fashion company staffed primarily with millennial-aged women1. Now I can’t stop doing it.

Hyping up and shouting out successful style moves is de rigueur in that office. Cross paths with someone in the pantry and you’ll hear “Hi! I like your shoes.” The elevator chat is almost always someone talking up someone else’s new bag. People applaud when they emerge from our sample sales with a decent haul. It’s all so nice.

Pointing out something that someone is wearing that pleases your eye makes everyone feel good. The compliment acts as an equalizer that transcends the slog of workaday annoyances and grudges. It creates instant camaraderie.

Taken outside the office, the compliment is an easy way to chat someone up when you don’t have much else to go on yet. It’s an opening. A little lubricant to get a conversation going. It charms and disarms. I like your shoes. Tell me about them, and in so doing, tell me about you.

The Times recently explored this. And I was on the receiving end of a stranger’s compliment earlier this winter. Made my day2. The pay it forward affect is real.

I love to grocery shop3. Shopping for value feels like a little private game I get to do a few times a week. My own little Supermarket Sweep. And my favorite bonus item? A whole chicken.

Why whole? Have you been to the grocery store lately, let alone a Whole Foods? Juh-heeesus Christ, those prices.

Boneless skinless thighs go for $5.99 a pound! (Organic is $6.49. That is insane!) Skin-on thighs—the ideal cut of poultry—$3.99! And who knows where we’ll be when bird flu really takes off.

I’m better off getting robbed at gunpoint and having a handful of pistachio shells thrown in my face for my troubles. [Editor note: Lots of gun talk this issue. Sorry.]

Meanwhile, a good pasture-raised, air-chilled whole chicken, you can usually lock down at Whole Paycheck for $2.49.

That’s a veritable steal, relatively speaking.

Plus, there’s like 1000 ways to roast a chicken that are all delicious4. But one of my favorite things to do with a whole chicken is break it down. Strip the meat off the carcass and use it for stock, then do an elegant little dinner of a pan-seared, oven finished boneless bird that emulates the absolutely bomb brick chicken at Diner.

Breaking down a whole bird is a learned skill, though. One I’m still trying to perfect without getting lost in the tendons and joints.

That’s where Jacques Pepin comes in.

You know that pleasure center of your brain that buzzes when you watch people do something they’re really good at? Like seeing Leah Michelle belt it during Funny Girl? The same region of my nucleus accumbens lights the hell up when I watch this French man break down a bird5. It’s magic.

I’ll bring home a chicken. Queue up Jacques, watch him do his thing three times over, and feel like I can absolutely do this. Then I’ll get to carving. Cut to about ten minutes in, I’m smearing salmonella all across my phone screen trying to rewind to when he pops out the thigh joint.

Regardless, I eventually get there and feel a greater sense of accomplishment—and create something way more delicious—than any overpriced chicken breast ever could have granted.

What’s With The Williamsburg White Sneaker Lifecycle?

It started with the New Balance 992s. A dalliance with the Veja V12s. Then the Nike Blazers. Back to New Balance and the 550s. Which gave way to Ons. Then circled back to Reebok Club C 85s. And now we’re currently in the peak of the Adidas Samba.

The last ten years, we’ve gone through waves of basic, ubiquitous tennis shoes. For a year or so, a given style seems to take over the L Train then disappear, only to be seen on the tragic. (This coming from someone who in the year of 2025 requested and got a pair of Blundstones for his birthday)

Why is this? What is this hot, basic sneaker cycle? How do I not participate in it?

It’s like the sneaker companies are working in some vast conspiracy to platform a single shoe at a time. Everyone gets their turn. There is a notion I have that once you lay eyes on a silhouette you haven’t seen in a while, it’s immediately everywhere and henceforth, immediately over.

To combat this, I’m rejecting the notion of the “it” basic-ass sneaker and slotting in the true stalwarts of the category.

I’m talking of the Chuck Taylor All Star, Stan Smiths and Vans Slip-Ons. Any one of those three in your rotation are a safe bet—good-looking tennis shoes without making you feel like a sucker to the algorithm or Madewell’s buying team.

In fact, may I make the case for the signature shoe. They’re not sneakers, but I have my Clark’s Wallabees. I’ve had them in my rotation since freshman year of college. They’ve been in and out of style at least two times since I’ve been wearing them. But even amid those waves, they’ve always been mine.

No Nostalgia or Aretha columns this week. (Trying to meet some self-imposed deadlines!) Instead, enjoy the footnotes and embedded vids. We’ll catch you here again on the 21st for a special SSSPPPRAAAAANG BREAAKKKK! issue of A Matt-azine.