For the love of God please do something
I just watched my entire weekend disappear under the guise of thinking. Stop thinking, ruminating and planning. It's your mind tricking you into not doing anything.
Matahar
I am going to use this like a twitter account. Sorry everyone....
Latest posts
Gratitude in the midst of uncertainty
I'm still struggling at work. A bad hire is worse than not hiring, and I have no doubt in my mind that my bosses regret hiring me. A young superstar in my team is now more comfortable in showing his disdain for me. I don't blame him. He cares a lot about the work and having me in his team is effectively sabotaging his career. My weekends are filled with anxiety. For me it seems like working…
Regaining trust in my ability to change
I watched my youth slip away from me in the past decade. The life I want is shapeless, a convenient vagueness I used as a reason to stay put. Now I am not the person who I want to be and I lost belief in my ability to change. 1 Can you really be anyone but yourself? Can people really change at a fundamental level? Most of the changes I've seen are one-off miracles. There's the uncle who stopped…
How can I recover from years of relaxation?
I learned the most important mathematical fact of them all late in my second year of math PhD: I'm not going to become a mathematician. Realizing this soon in one's PhD is usually a blessing. I had enough satisfactory results to graduate but it would've been too vulgar to graduate early with such a mediocre thesis 1 , so I decided to serve my five year sentence. This turns out to be a grave…
Executive dysfunction at work
I started my first full time job last year. Everyone is kind and exceedingly patient with my slow progress at ramping up. I make very little progress in all the things I do, yet I was recently told by the Big Boss to keep doing what I'm doing. Is he secretly trying to document enough evidence to get me fired? I'm sure everyone knows that I'm a low performer. Low performers can't hide themselves in…