The Day Resistance Almost Killed My Big Shoot

The Impostor Shoot

Years ago, I was climbing the creative ladder, moving from boring, safe, corporate work into adventure brands and bigger commercial projects. Then came my biggest job to date.

It was the largest commercial project I’d ever been hired for. The day of the shoot, I remember the taste of fear in my mouth. Not metaphorical, actual metallic anxiety. Oh shit, how am I going to fake my way through this? That feeling lasted almost the entire week-long shoot.

I had a real crew under me for the first time, camera assistants, a digital imaging tech, grips, gaffers, PAs bringing me coffee. I was excited to be there, to learn and teach, to be on a fun project with a great team. But underneath it was pure dread.

Pre-production meetings went fine, but I kept thinking, How will I handle situations I’ve never faced? What if I can’t explain the lighting I want? What if I don’t even know the look I’m going for?

When the shoot started, my anxiety went into overdrive. I carried a small notepad everywhere, scribbling meaningless notes just to keep my hands busy and my OCD from spiraling. I don’t even remember what I wrote. At one point, one of the gaffers looked at me and asked, half-joking, “Dude, what the fuck are you scribbling down?”

My cover was blown. I didn’t know. I guess it was my way of trying to manage the panic. Whether it worked or not, I’m still not sure, but I was devastated.

Eventually, I got through it, thanks to an incredible Director and Producer who were really steering the ship. I just kept moving, kept pretending I belonged. And the thing is, I did. The shoot went well. The video turned out amazing. And I learned a few things that stuck:

1. Who gives a fuck what people think.
Cliché? Absolutely. True? Completely. I wasted so much energy worrying how I looked or whether people could tell I was nervous. Ten years later, no one cares.

2. Fake it till you make it.
I hate the phrase, but the truth is, every successful person has done it at some point. Confidence gets you further than perfection. I was there because I was good at my job, and the production company wanted me there. That’s all that mattered.

3. Discomfort is part of the job.
If you’re waiting to feel 100% ready before you take on something big, you’ll never take on anything big. The discomfort never goes away — you just get better at carrying it.

In the end, no one saw the panic, the scribbles, or the knots in my stomach. They saw the work.

And that’s the thing, fear doesn’t disqualify you. It just means you’re doing something that matters.

So show up, do the job, and let the rest take care of itself.

“Half the battle is looking like you belong there — the other half is realizing you already do.”

Be good.

Matthew James Price
paradisevalleymedia.com
@mjpmontana