Hello world!
If you’re a creative, I want to take a moment to extend a virtual hug to you.
.
.
.
There!
I hope you’re feeling better.
I know the world is especially rough.
I know creators feel things on a deeper level.
I know our mental states dictate how productive we are.
And I know you might be feeling like everything is working against you— with BIPOC and other scholarships and quotas being scrapped, with communities growing more distant, with voices being silenced, you might be wanting to retreat into a safe space and not bother with putting yourself and your work out into such a broken world. I get you!
Yesterday, a fellow writer was having a tough day. She posted to our writer’s group about how an anonymous beta reader had shredded her manuscript’s first draft. How this was the first time she was writing in this new genre and how she felt she wasn’t going to be able to get over the negativity that was thrown at her. We comforted her, and reminded her of the important work she was doing. I shared how I keep telling myself that my writing isn’t a Nutella jar!
And so my writing will inevitably not sit well with everyone.
My heart ached for all the rejection we have to face as creatives. Even if you ‘make’ it with one book or article being published, there’s no guarantee you will ever have another word in print. And that’s the tough reality of publishing! I slept over it, but this morning, the uneasiness hadn’t yet subsided. I woke up, dropped my daughter to school, decided to stop by and treat myself to a slice of lemon cake and get myself a large Cappuccino (this is a special treat because I usually have chai).
I’ve been reading The Productive Muslim and while some of the information is flawed/not accurately referenced, I loved what Mohammad Faris, the author, highlights about the concepts of Sabr (patience) and Qadr (destiny) in Islam. The crux of it being: we need to do our part… patience is an active pursuit (after you put in your share of effort). Destiny is what you make of it, while asking for divine help and using the faculties and skills you’ve been blessed with.
When I reached home, I searched my old phone for a picture that always reminds me of my purpose; I need to put in the struggle, give it my best, make sure my goals are aligned with what my Creator created me for, and also trust the process and believe that nothing, not even a speck the size of a seed of rai, goes to waste!
And what was that photo?
It might not look like much.
But let me explain: It is from a mindfulness workshop I took before I dreamt the author dream. In 2019 I had just closed down my cake business (which I ran for over a decade) and I was completely lost. I felt all the effort I had put into making the name I had made for myself had amounted to nothing. All the instruments and gadgets, all the molds and nozzles I had imported (because barely anything was locally available at the time I began my baking business), everything was worthless.
I wanted to write, to process my feelings. But my emotions were all negative and I was filled with fear. All the ‘what if’s’ clouded my vision and I wasn’t even thinking about the big picture or my overall purpose in life. I was numb.
That’s when the workshop instructor placed a pebble in my hand.
She stood behind me and instructed our small group to close our eyes.
We had just had a heart-to-heart with a complete stranger partner about all our fears and our cheeks were stained with tears and our hearts were brimming with uncertainty. I had no clue what the pebble signified at this point, but I rolled it in my palm. I felt its grittiness. I felt it’s weight. I acknowledged its fissures. I felt grounded in the moment. That’s when the instructor’s voice broke the silence again.
She asked us to visualize our biggest fear.
That was the pebble.
We were each asked to step forward and drop the pebble into the trough of water.
SPLASH!
As expected, all the pebbles shrunk.
Dropping my own pebble, visualizing my fears, and sinking them, was such a powerful feeling. I’m all charged up, even thinking about it. But what was more powerful, was opening my eyes, after I had sunk that biggest fear, and watching the rest of the participants sink their fears.
Plop! Plop! Plop!
We all reached for more pebbles.
We all cheered each other on.
We all felt something shift within us!
So today, I want you to try this out. Do it alone if you want. But if you have a writing partner in close proximity, invite them over and do it together! Also, stay tuned for part two and maybe even part three!
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