New Short Story

After much more hemming and hawing than is required, I’ve decided to introduce some of my short stories into the mix here at Substack.

I’ll still be posting poetry on (most) Wednesdays, but starting today, I’ll also be offering about one piece of fiction a month.

I’m hoping that expanding what I share here will also help me expand my readership. If you enjoy what you find, please consider sharing a post on Notes or recommending me to a friend. Every bit helps.

This is the first one. I hope you enjoy it.

And Yet It Must Be So

My Love,

How long will you leave me hanging here waiting for just a word from you? I am madness itself. My mind reels with thoughts of unrequited love. Do you still love me? How can I know when you are so out of touch with me, the one who loves you most, and clings to your memory? I am helpless against what stands between us.

Oh, I know that I am impatient and smother you with my fears. I am even now allowing my imagination to run away with me, falling shamelessly into the insecurities that I know will drive you away. But darling, don’t you know that every moment away from you is like a sword to my heart? Give me but one word and it will keep me until next we speak.

Yours forever,

M

*****

My Infinite Joy,

How can you question my love for you? Don’t you remember the last time we met? Didn’t my touch tell you all you need to know? Hold on to those memories, my love, for very soon we will be in one another’s arms, forever and for all eternity.

With all my heart,

J

*****

My Savior,

These words from you are like desert rain; they give me life and I can breathe again. I am overcome with joy that you truly love me.

And, oh, it is so difficult waiting for you in this place. Father has left again and Frederick is out every day looking for work, but you know how things are and he is not as smart as other boys. I wish I could do more here than scrub dishes and wipe noses (the children are so wild and restless these days,) but mother says she is grateful that I do not make much fuss and cause no problems. If she only knew the destruction that I bear in my heart! Oh, my darling, but I would destroy a thousand times if only to be with you again.

Ever in my thoughts and heart, I remain

Your devoted lover,

M

*****

My Precious Pearl,

If only I could tear you away from that place I would in an instant. But to leave now would be the worse for us, as you well know. And yet for all her patience and kindness, it is no match for the passion I feel in you. When I am with you, my heart races as never it did with her and never will. I will not say anything against her, however, for she has been a good and kind woman and never a harsh word for me.

But oh, passionless woman! Sometimes I think that if she had raised her voice but once I would know that she had some emotion in her that wasn’t so unbearably righteous. I know it is not in her, however, to feel as deeply as you and I feel. Some cannot. But in you I have found a kindred soul and we are bound by the passion that unites us.

Our time will come, beloved, when we will be together and never again have to part. Be patient and know that my love can bear anything.

Yours to the end of time,

J

*****

My Dearest Kindred Soul,

Hurry in your love, for father has returned and his anger is never contained and he goes stomping about in drunkenness and a terrible wrath that sends the children running under their beds, and then he turns to those of us who are too big for beds and rains on us a torrent of curses unbearable to hear and marks us all afterwards like the cattle in the fields. We are marred, branded and sealed as his and his alone. But I do not belong to him. No. I may dwell in his house but my heart and soul belong to you and ever will.

Hurry, my love, my burden is so much to bear.

Your pearl,

M

*****

My Flower,

When first I get hold of that demon I will brand him like cattle and send him to the depths of hell. To think of him laying hands on my own is more than heart can stand. My pillow is soaked with the tears that I cry for you and I am as a madman because I cannot save you from the atrocities that he has done. One day it will all be well, darling, and you must hang on to my words and let them raise you above the darkness of that accursed house. You are made for greater than the hands of that wretched beast that is no more than monster in man’s clothing. You are my sheep and I your shepherd, and do not think that I will not come after the one that I have lost.

All of my devotion,

J

*****

My Shining Star,

When? When? When? I await you day and night and your letters come but too infrequently. Mother can bear no more and she is in bed now and cannot get up. I tend to her needs and father is repentant but I do not forgive him. He knows this and is silent around me, but I do not dare raise my voice to him for fear of his hand; he cannot fool me with his quiet ways, for I know what lurks below and he is always hot. Give him but two or three more days and his coolness will return.

And where are you? I do not need a shepherd but a knight. Why do you not leave that woman who has no love for you? Why do you cling to her skirts when my arms are open wide for you? What are you waiting for my darling?

Sometimes I do wonder that you do not put me off. She is a hearty woman and not sick or with child. So why is it that you cannot leave? What hold has she got over you?

Oh, I know that I am like a lovesick child, but really how long must I wait? Your promises are not enough. It is time for you to take me away.

Your broken-hearted one,

M

*****

Gentle Spirit,

I know you are impatient for me, and you must indeed wonder what has become of me and why I must stay now. There are circumstances of which you do not know that keep me tethered to her. She is suspicious, I think, and I must be careful that she does not discover.

It is now I should tell you, love, that though it kills me to say it and to think it is madness itself, but that when it is time I leave here it is best, I think, that I do not come to you immediately, for then would I truly be beholden to her for my infidelity. Some time must pass, perhaps a month or more, before I come for you.

But you are strong, my love, and your passion deep. It can stand the greatest storms and many storms lie ahead, as we both know. Bear it well, love, and let the memory of what has passed between us bear you up.

Sleep well and hold dearly the dreams of our future together. It will not be long now.

Yours in earnest,

J

*****

My Darling,

I cannot think of being away from you so long. How can I stand it? I am mad with fear and loneliness. My flesh is cold with fear, and yet my body aches to be near you. But I will stand it if I must. I can wait for you forever.

Yours in agony,

M

*****

My Patient and Devoted Love,

Oh, how can I tell you the thing that I must? How can I bear to think of the future that lies ahead of me? But tell you I must, to be fair to you and for all you have borne for me and our love for one another.

It is true what you may have heard others speak, for my wife is with child and surely I cannot leave her now. When I think that a child of my own is growing within her, I tremble with a new kind of joy. And, oh, she has grown warmer now and says such gentle things and speaks so kindly. And, my darling, the worst of it all is that she knows about us. She knows! She has known these many months of our love and she says it has caused her sorrow and has been the reason for quiet. All this time I have gone mad with her silence and her infinite patience when truly she has been suffering in agony all along.

Oh, my love, I know that I have wronged you. I know that I should not have given you my love. And I do still love you and ever will and wish that I could take you away, but of course it is my duty to this precious new child to stay here with his very own mother and do my best to make a loving home.

My love, my face is wet with tears for the love we shared and the love we will never share again. I can barely stand to think of it. And yet it must be so.

Farewell my love,

J

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