Notes from a High School Dropout

We fear what we don’t know. But I believe enough fear exists already, meaning we as a society need more understanding, more knowledge of each other.

In this series of interviews, entitled Wholesome People, we’ll explore perspectives not often heard in mainstream conversation. The hope is to find commonality between people who may at first appear wholly different, in the interest of bringing us closer together.

Now, please open your mind . . . and enjoy.

We are told from an early age that education is the key to success. Stay in school, right? Since the time of Plato’s Academy, society has valued a life of learning. But does this come from an education in the traditional sense?

After all, there is much to be learned at the school of hard knocks. And with a four-year degree approaching mid-six figures in this country, this seems like a worthwhile line of inquiry.

While families discuss these questions at the dinner table, and scholars debate them in their ivory towers, let’s hear from someone who has taken an unconventional approach to education: my friend, Evan Lam.

11th grade.

It was just boring to me. I didn’t feel challenged. I would ace tests but never had the discipline to sit there all day, let alone do homework. Give me the choice to go ride my skateboard or sit in my room and do more school, and I’m going to choose my skateboard every time. And my parents, good or bad, didn’t give me any ultimatums.

I just refused to play by the rules, you couldn’t put me in a box. I remember when I was seven or eight, my mom asked what I wanted to do when I grew up and I said: “I just want to play all day and make money.” So the idea of being told I had to go to school, had to do all these things rather than go outside and play with my friends or just play by myself, I didn’t like that.

My mom’s a flight attendant, so she was traveling five days a week. And my dad is an entrepreneur, so he had his own business and was hyper-focused on that. That left tons of freedom for me and my sister. And, yeah, I got into plenty of trouble with that freedom, but became very independent and very self-sufficient, as well.

I think I was living at their house. But, no.

I think it would have been nice if my parents were more involved in my life. You know, it’s hard to say because I love the life I have now, I love my relationship with my family now. But if I took any lessons from how my parents’ parented me versus how I might parent kids if I had them for myself, I think I would try to be more involved with whatever they were doing.

I had older friends from a very young age and I followed their path. Interestingly enough, most of those friends didn’t graduate high school either. Then, later in life, my uncle played a big role in who I am today. He had rental properties in the Bay Area. He was a real estate agent and a firefighter. And I thought: Well, I want what he has, so I’m gonna do what he did. So he guided me. I mean, we were doing monthly net worth statements when I was 17.

I started helping my dad in his machine shop when I was 14 or 15 years old, sweeping and making parts and doing assembly. I started working full-time when I was 16 for a different company, right before I dropped out of school.

The company I worked for was called Flextronics International. They made computer data systems, these big hard drive banks, and at the time you could work as much as you wanted. So I figured, well, if we go to school to get jobs and make money, and I already have a job, why go to school?

It’s been all over the place, honestly. I worked at grocery stores. I washed cars. I worked for Flextronics until they moved their company overseas. I worked at Discount Tire for a long time. I worked at a kitchen catering company. I did odd jobs, worked for friends, painted houses, construction.

I own a real estate agency, helping people buy and sell houses. And I’m a real estate investor. So I own rental properties.

I once had a niece and nephew graduate from high school and I asked them: “So, are you guys are going to go to college?” And they said, “Well, we like the lifestyle you have. What did you do?” I can’t recommend that to anybody. Because it’s not an easy path. It takes a lot of drive, it takes a lot of dedication, perseverance, and a lot of flexibility in what you get. I can’t just go to most places, even now, and get a job. Because somebody asks for my resume and they’re like, “What’s your education? What’s your experience?” And I don’t have any, you know?

No.

I think it’s still the truth for many, for the masses. Because it takes a certain kind of person, I think, to go a different path . . . an unconventional person that’s willing to make sacrifices, that’s willing to live a certain way before they get what they want.

The benefit of seeking convention is security.

It’s the illusion of security. None of us are secure. Who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow? But most people need the illusion. I think that’s what drives people to have jobs. That’s what drives people to be religious. That’s what drives people to have families. They want the security of having people around them. They want the security of a paycheck. They want the security of knowing where they’re going to go when they die.

It’s a very interesting to think about the differences between security and control. But, in general, people want to be in control, for sure. They want to be in control and they want to be secure and, I mean, not that I don’t want to be in control, but I do find that the most memorable moments in my life were when I’ve been flirting with the edge of control.

Being able to take care of yourself and be happy with the decisions that you’ve made and where you are in the moment.

I think most people think I’m successful. Because I have some of the things successful people have.

Well, I work very little and I make pretty good money. I’ve got five rental properties. I own my own house. I don’t have any debt. So in that sense I think most people would say that I’m successful.

100%. And that makes me really proud, honestly. Because I do really just get to do whatever I want most of the time. I mean, to an extent, right? I’m not a billionaire. So I can’t just go like jump on a plane and go where I want and spend a bunch of money. But I wake up with the sun. I don’t have an alarm. I don’t have a bedtime. I don’t have very many responsibilities. I don’t have to worry about it too much, and it’s really nice.

Most people are very surprised. That’s the number one reaction. Most people think it’s incredible.

I think it’s their perception of a high school dropout, and because—not to toot my own horn or anything—I don’t fit that. I feel like I know a lot of things. And if you’re not going to follow the conventional path, another key requirement is that you have to be hungry for information. You have to be a self-learner. And I am 100% a self-learner. I want to learn about everything, how everything works, how to fix everything, how to do everything, how to communicate different ways. I just eat up that information. I’m not always reading informational books, but I’m always curious.

Yes. Curiosity has gotten me everything I have. Curiosity is my driving force, really. When I was young, I asked myself what would happen if I walked out of school and went skateboarding? Nothing happened. What would happen if I dropped out of school and just worked full time? I did that, and it worked out just fine. What would happen if I don’t go to college? What would happen if I took these drugs, drank this alcohol? What would happen if I quit? I’m a super curious person and I want to know about all walks of life and how everybody does what they do and how they got what they have.

I’d much rather, for example, try to fix my car myself than just pay somebody else to do it. Sure, I want to save the money, but when it breaks I want to be able to fix it, too. And I think that’s also another big independence thing. I don’t want to have to rely on anybody to get me out of wherever I need to go.

I don’t have a plan B. That’s why I feel I’ve been successful in real estate. If I don’t make money, I’ve got to go back and work at Discount Tire, or go put roofs on houses, or go do some other job that I don’t want to do. And when I look at other people in the world that are successful, they all have the same trait. Single mothers are some of the most successful people in the world, because they don’t have a choice. Feed my baby or die, you know? No plan B. I gotta do it. It has to be done.

A lot of people think if you don’t go to school, if you’re a drop out, if you’re a drug addict, if you’re any of these things, then you can’t achieve anything in life. And that’s completely false. Some of the most financially successful people I know are recovering drug addicts.

100%. Tons of drive. Yeah. You just replace the drugs with something productive.

I’ve been clean and sober for 11 years.

It has changed it in every way possible. I wouldn’t be financially independent. I wouldn’t be wealthy, if somebody would call me that. I wouldn’t be able to do whatever I want to do. I wouldn’t have achieved this dream of playing all day and making money. I don’t think I’d have anything. I would probably be dead.

Well, it’s either about choosing or changing. And most people, I find, choose. For me it’s too hard to choose to be sober. Because if I have to choose then sometimes I might choose the wrong way. You either have to be an active recovery or be a changed person. I don’t make the choice to not drink or do drugs. I’m just a person who doesn’t drink or do drugs. I changed who I am.

So every year I celebrate my years of sobriety and I go to back to the rooms of NA. And people ask how did you do it? How did you get this much time? And my answer always goes back to curiosity. I’m curious what’s gonna happen if I just stay clean and sober one more day. What will happen? If I do drugs, I know what. I know the outcome of that. I did that for eighteen years. And I know how it ends. But I don’t know what happens if I don’t do drugs another day.

Something that I heard a long time ago is that it doesn’t matter whether you come from privilege or you come from education or you come from nothing, if you help enough people get what they want, you can have everything you want. And another: do the best with what you have.

If you’re anything like me, some of these ideas are challenging to consider. But I’ve long thought that the beauty of hearing things which challenge current belief comes from the possibility that: one, you discover ways to expand your perspective, or, two, you find even more strength in your own convictions. Either way, it seems beneficial.

So, I hope you find either new perspective or deeper conviction in these words.

Until next time . . .

Martin

If you are interested in reading more of my work, I recently published a book of essays about staying human in the algorithmic age. You can buy it HERE.

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