Beauty, Beige, and Blah

Sigh. I sort of didn’t want to write this post, but it kept circling the drain of my mind instead of flowing away into the great abyss of well-intentioned, but never-realized ideas. Basically, that means that it wanted to stay and was begging to be written. So here we are.

Beauty.

Beige.

And… Blah.

Firstly, this is not a takedown of neutral color palettes. I think they can be beautiful in their simplicity. There’s a reason most spas use a limited range of colors or variations on a theme; it can be incredibly calming and soothing to look at something soft and monochromatic. The narrow scope requires little of us to engage with, and therefore allows us (in theory) to rest more. But therein lies the problem: Beige is ideal for spas, not for life.

When we homogenize our life, we are creating less opportunities for engagement and end up numbing our senses and presence. This also applies to decor and food as much as it applies to our wardrobes, and yes, even our bodies. Unfortunately, it’s the latter that creates a multi-billion dollar industry designed to consistently reinforce itself and make the goal perpetually out of reach for the vast majority. The short version of that is: human bodies are not designed—or meant—to all look the same and never will, no matter how hard we try.

Sadly, by creating an “ideal” in physical form, we are homogenizing lives and going against the very nature of what it means to be alive by buying into a narrative that says that this one way of being (looking, actually), is the best or only way to be. Ahh, beauty standards. Gotta love hate ‘em.

While I could ramble on almost endlessly about beauty standards, social media, and the advertising machine, I’d rather focus on what this kind of homogenization is actually doing to us internally, beyond the obvious. As I’ve already mentioned, it’s numbing us. But that’s not the crux of what’s going on; it gets worse.

By creating a homogenized society in which we prize a single way of being (decorating, eating, looking, etc.), we are decreasing our tolerance for life as well as our ability to be present in our lives. Homogenization literally makes us intolerant to life. By stripping all the variance away, we may feel like we are becoming more unified or simplifying life in a way that creates more ease or comfort, but what we are actually doing is removing choice in order to avoid discomfort, and that’s not good.

Life is meant to be more than striving for an ideal (that you didn’t choose).

What’s even worse is that in becoming intolerant to life, we also become intolerant to others and their lives. The drive to create a homogenized world actually creates more conflict, division, and disconnection, even though on the surface it may look like more connection through a sense of shared identity. The truth is, we’re meant to be different. We know deep inside that we’re all not meant to be the same, eat the same, think the same, or feel the same. We were designed to be different, and with those differences, we were meant to come together to create more connection and understanding… to create growth.

By removing discomfort, we remove what it means to be human – the messy, the joyful, and the hard. We remove the ways in which we relate, share, and grow. The beige-ing of society and generic, yet singular, beauty ideals have stripped away the very essence of life. While this path may feel more comfortable in the short-term, it’s actually having the reverse effect in the long-term. This means that as we numb down due to the lack of diverse stimuli, instead of becoming actually numb, we become overly sensitive. This oversensitivity makes us more reactive to things than we ought to be, leading to more division and conflict. May seem counterintuitive at first, but it’s true. The more we hold up a singular ideal, the more divided we become… because it goes against our very nature. The result is less tolerance, less empathy, less connection, and less community. Sounds terrible.

Thankfully, though I see this happening throughout the world, I also see glimmers of change for the better. Instead of buying a home and making everything neutral in tone because some celebrity said so, people are embracing color again because it makes them happy. As a former fashion buyer, I watch trends closely (it’s in my genes at this point), and I see wallpaper and paint choices increasing on social media, just as I see more colorful options in stores. I also see more expressive outfits on people going about their daily lives. In fact, I was thrilled when I saw a brand new green car last week! I haven’t seen one of those in ages.

Color is just one way to look at the situation, but it’s a good one. It can be the benchmark for us to know when we have moved away from our essence, and the signal for when we are starting to return. The key in all this, of course, is understanding that the more we want people or life to conform to an ideal, the less likely we are to be happy—truly happy—because happiness is a byproduct of the other things that make life worthwhile, such as community and connection, creativity and diversity, and play. And you can’t play or create if you’re limited to a single expression. Can you?

TL;DR – The more we strive to look or be a certain way, the less likely we are to be happy. The more we numb and dumb down our lives (often referred to as simplifying or streamlining) to look a particular way, the less joy we eventually feel. The more we hold up singular ideals as a goal, the less tolerant we become. All this leads to feeling worse, not better, and creates more division and conflict and less community and connection.

In other words: We are not meant to all look, eat, and be the same. Can you imagine if you were told you could only wear the same 4 items of clothing or eat the same 5 foods for the rest of your life? Life is meant to be more than striving for an ideal (that you didn’t choose). So… Wear the red! Buy the wallpaper! Eat the weird, fun foods that make you happy. Celebrate your body in whatever shape it currently exists, and if it changes, celebrate it then, too. And allow others to do the same in their own lives.