Three thoughts Thursday: Normal, order and nukes.

Disclaimer: All writing and artwork handcrafted by me.

On May 19, I turned 54 years old. At least the calendar and mathematics told me so. Someone way younger asked me that day „And? How does it feel to be 54?“ Someone always does. Thing is, I really never felt my age. Maybe I really stuck to that quote in Peter Pan, when I first read this fantastic book in my 20s:

Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.

Of course, this makes a great tattoo or a nice sign to hang in your kitchen. While you live your life like a steam train. Having been put on the rails like everyone else in your thirties and moving full speed into your dismise. Or as Douglas Coupland, inventor of the concept of Generation X said it in one of his books, paraphrased:

We die at 35 and are buried at 70.

We say sentences like “Everything used to be better in the old days.” and stick to routines and knowledge and views that are outdated. By that, we lose contact with the world around us. As every generation takes it as it is. And moves it forward.

But how to avoid that? Missing the track switches. How to not feel like 54 or 45 or any number? Just stay _you_. At any point in time.

It’s easy. One of my six core values is curiosity. I see every day as being new. As resetting everything and being the new starting line to from which to live on now. That’s what this Peter Pan quote is for me. Not to be irresponsible or be a mischief like Peter. (That’s called “Peter Pan syndrome” in psychology.) But to keep the curious child in me alive. The one which once found the world as it was. Only with the difference to be doing that every single day. And combining it with the experience I gathered on the way there.

The stoics call that: “Consider yourself to have died yesterday. And now live the rest of your life.”

Die tonight. Fly to Neverland. And be reborn tomorrow into a new world.

It’s time. 2014. Pencil and digital colour

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Daniel Catt recently said in a short note on Substack:

One lesson I’ve learned from my daily studio practice is the importance of a tidy workspace, so much so that I have a “shutdown routine” at the end of each day to put things away. But even then, things start to build up, so today is about cleaning up the studio for a new fresh start.

That is exactly what I learned late in life. Growing up with the belief “It’s okay you are chaotic. Artists need to be chaotic.” I never gave a damn about order and tidying. It turned out, the people who said that know shit about art and are as creative as a rock.

Once I realised that working in a clean and tidy environment is so much better for my crazy shit brain, I made “Order” one of my core values. Adding to “Independence” and “Curiosity”. More about the second one in the third thought.

We even have a saying in German for when life is good in any aspect: „Es ist in Ordnung.” literally translating to “It’s in orderly fashion.”

But if I feel miserable, I know something is “nicht in Ordnung”. The English translation of that is “Out of order.” which actually means: Not working. So when things get “out of order”, life is “not working”.

The solution is quite simple: Take a step back, see the whole picture, and then start picking things up. Until everything is back in it’s place.

Happy creating.

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Lately after therapy I thought about what it takes to be content. I am German, so my usual thinking is in German. I did not think about “What does it take to be content?” but „Was bedeutet es zufrieden zu sein?”

„Zufrieden“ is the German word for “content“. It is literal translation could be something like “Living in peace”.

A trait I learned from my therapist is to dissect words to get behind it all. Let’s do that.

When being „zufrieden“ is your desire, but you are not, you must be living it’s opposite. The opposite of peace is conflict or even worse: War.

Being „unzufrieden“, or “discontent” then means you are at war with something in your life. Whoever had the pleasure of a good therapy and learned that the key always is you, then has to face the harsh truth:

Being „unzufrieden“ is nothing less than being at war with yourself.

We know, there are at least to routes to end a war.

• Either one side is defeated and has to surrender. Which means destruction, suffering and annihilation of the losing side. If it goes utterly bad, life can shift into self harm. Once you are there it’s like you chose to end this war by pressing the big red button and nuke yourself.

• Or both sides meet at a table to elaborate on the state of the conflict, how they got there, and what the demands of each party are. Find common ground and agree on terms that everyone can live with. For sure: Neither side gets all they wanted. But also, nobody has to suffer more than necessary.

So next time you are „unzufrieden“ find out if any parts of your personality are at war , if you have conflicting desires and the conflict stems from the fact, that most of the time, not everything you want can be satisfied fully.

If you get there, please sit down at your inner table and talk about it to yourself.

Do not wait for anyone or anything to give you peace.

Be self-efficient. Make your peace.

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