Please really DO mind THIS gap.

Recently, I had a chat with my wife about those days when you feel miserable and depressed. But instead of the usual run to the supermarket for crisps and chocolate and Coke, it reminded me of one of the Post it’s stuck to my monitor. Handwritten prompts, I found in books, blogs and life, inspiring me every day to keep up.

One of these says:

[Find out] what’s missing. → Fill that gap.

For me, it has become a constant reminder of what to do when life is stalling. Find out what I am missing, what needs to be done at that exact moment. Like when feeling really down and the answer could be a mundane “I really could need a hug.” or “I want to go for a run.”

But then it hit me. It is a way bigger, existential question.

Let me explain:

People roam this world, waving their arms, chanting

Follow your dreams. Follow your dreams.

I always wondered, what is this dream anyway? When asked, people most likely reply with some BS like materialistic belongings or a life concept so far off from their reality it’s more like your private fairy tale. Actually, a made up dream you cling to in dark hours. Only to wake up from, to the nightmare that is your life. Every day.

In a different essay I read last week, the author proclaimed a different approach to get closer to a fulfilled life. Instead of a dream, every one of us has a destiny woven into our time being on this earth. This purpose you were really made for. Not some reality ignoring dream, living in a house on the Pacific coast, when currently sitting in a 10 square meter flat in Druffel. It is not some “thing” you order at Temu because that is what you can afford with the little money left at the end of the month.

I am talking about good old plain destiny. This golden opportunity handed to you by god, fate or genetics. You keep in your back pocket while doing your duty. And which you finally cash in, with your last breath. For the one big regret of your life. While nature kills you.

Like my dying father told me when it was finally too late to wish for anything but having at least a few peaceful but finite days. Before the cancer diagnosis, before the screaming kicked in. He was 57.

I really wanted to be an electronics technician. Instead I took this career as an accountant because … safety. It was okay.

But it was never nothing more. This was his gap he never filled. That prevented him from living the life he was made for. A life fulfilled. You could say, he was fooled by fate, dying so young. He should have had more time. On the other hand, fate could talk back and say:

Oh, I gave him 57 years. That is way more than he would have had a left statically. Why did he not use those?

(This story is just “food for thought”. I also think 57 is far too young to die. I mourn all those years he could have enjoyed with my mother, us kids, and all those grandchildren he never met. We miss him dearly.)

So when I finish this article with the question and imperative:

What is missing? → Fill that gap.

I sincerely ask you: Please really find out what you are missing.

And then DO mind THAT gap.