Even Without the Flowers

Three weeks before our anniversary getaway, I sent a message to our AirBnB host. I asked if I could have some flowers and snacks delivered to the cabin before we arrived. I wasn’t asking them to do any of the work. I just wanted to know if they would help coordinate a delivery.

Five days later, after a not-so-subtle “Hello?” nudge, I got a response. The host was in on my scheming but a delivery coordination was not going to work. After a short back and forth about what I was thinking, I was left ... confused. The tone and initial messages expressed a willingness to pull this off, but without any clear commitment or resolution. I never heard from her again.

Five days before our arrival, I decided to go a different direction. I called a local flower shop and asked, could she deliver to a nearby restaurant?

Yes, of course. Does the restaurant know they’re coming? she responded.

No, not yet, I informed her.

After you call them, call me back and we’ll place the order, she instructed.

Fifteen minutes later I had it all set. Dinner reservations made for Wednesday evening. Flowers to be delivered that afternoon and on the table waiting when we arrived. I had figured it all out and didn’t need the AirBnB host after all. Kristin was going to love this.

Between making the arrangements on Saturday and our arrival on Wednesday, I had a nagging concern that something would go wrong with the plan. Did I miss anything? Should I call back to confirm? They do this all the time, right? All this time and mental energy and what if they screw it up for me?

We found the restaurant, excited and anticipating a fun dinner. But my concerns still dogged me. As I checked in with the hostess, my back toward Kristin, I whispered, our table will be the one with the flowers on it. Her blank stare back at me confirmed my fear. In that moment, as she scurried off to talk to my manager, all my questions were answered. Yes, I missed something. Yes, I should have called to confirm. Yes, they messed this up for me and now I have to admit this fail to Kristin.

Meanwhile, Kristin was watching and wondering, what’s going on? I deflected her questioning face, everything’s fine,grasping for some hope this would still turn out. Knowing it wouldn’t. Was the hostess gone two minutes? Ten? It didn’t matter. The manager had no fix. There would be no flowers for Kristin tonight. No surprise and joy as we approached the table. No self-satisfaction of pulling all this off. No approving glances from others at the restaurant.

Kristin still had no specifics but she knew something. I don’t normally leave her alone at the restaurant table to pull the manager aside and ask him to “check the back.” Even returning to the table, I was distracted waiting for a surprise turn that I knew was not coming. This day had played out nothing like I had planned. I could already hear the track cueing up in my mental playlist. And Kristin deserved an explanation, even though it felt like a failure.

As I explained my plans and what had happened, the whole story, she laughed. I know she wasn’t laughing at me but I wasn’t looking for laughter that night. I wanted a win and it didn’t happen the way I had planned.

I am not a romantic by nature. I’ve pulled off a few memorable surprises in our 31 years of marriage, but it’s not my superpower. For this one, I had invested a decent amount of thinking and planning. The back and forth messages and phone calls to coordinate everything. There was the money spent on the flowers as well. They weren’t Kroger clearance carnations. I’m not saying I deserved an award but I did want a return on my investment. I wanted a win seeing Kristin’s surprise as we arrived at our table. And, if I’m honest, even though the real goal was to do something unexpected and romantic for my wife, I did like the thought of what the other restaurant guests might think when they noticed our table with the flowers. But none of that happened.

Still, the time away together was a success. Even without the flowers.

Epilogue Note:

As we walked into the cabin, a few hours before dinner, we were both surprised by what we found. Not the bouquet I ordered. Not the chocolates I had brought with me. But varieties of each nonetheless.

Oh wow. Look at the flowers and chocolates. I love it, what a nice surprise, said Kristin.

Yeah, surprise! Isn’t it great? I responded.