On Book Launches and Authors Faking Extroversion

Yesterday we hosted a book launch for an anthology I put together for authors in my writing group. I’m very proud of this story collection, and it was wonderful to have between 40 and 50 people to show up and support us. We actually sold out of Vanthology copies within 45 minutes, and I sold every single copy of The Wolf of the Library I’d brought with me. Yet again, I have no copy of my own novella, because I can’t seem to bring enough to these events!1

Here’s the thing about being a published author: most of us are intensely introverted. Many authors I know are constantly trying to reconcile their desire to stay at home and never talk to new people with the reality of having to go out in the world and spread the gospel of their good work.

I’m not much different. For most of my life, my social anxiety was so bad, I canceled on events at the last minute if it was a situation where I wouldn’t know anyone or would only know the host. It was bad enough that I actually had a friend tell me she was going to stop inviting me to things because I bailed so often.

Back in 2008, I paid good money to enroll a year-long writing intensive called The Writer’s Studio [TWS] at one of our local universities. TWS culminated in a reading event in a relatively large theatre as part of the very popular Vancouver Writer’s Festival. Having been to the previous year’s TWS reading event to support a friend, I knew how well attended the event would be. A few days before the scheduled reading, I backed out because I simply couldn’t overcome my stage fright.

Somewhere along the way, I realized I was going to have to master this fear of public speaking if I wanted to have a successful career as an author. Sure, it’s possible to make a living as an author without ever having to do in-person events. But I actually want to meet my readers and appear on panels. I write to be read. I write because I want to create an experience for people that mirrors how immensely important books are in my life. Connecting with readers means going out into the world and doing readings. It means showing up to panels at conventions with the confidence that I deserve to be there and that I won’t embarrass myself by freezing up and not having anything to say.

It means giving speeches at book launch events.

This particular room was filled with mostly familiar faces, but wow did the old public speaking fear hit hard. At one point during the morning, I was nervously pacing back and forth in the bedroom feeling like I might just throw up. Somehow, I managed to convince myself that I was simultaneously going be a failure when no one showed up while still being terrified of having to give a speech to a room packed with people.

With the support of my partner, box breathing, and reminding myself that anxiety shares identical physical manifestations with excitement, I was able to get myself to the venue and lose myself in the process of setting up and talking to friends and guests.2 When it finally came time to get everyone’s attention and say a few words, I had to look at my phone a few times when I lost my place, and I wandered off script a few times, but I managed to get through it without embarrassing myself.

It’s taken a lot of hard work to be able to stand in front of a crowd and own my author identity. I still have a long way to go before I consider myself an accomplished public speaker, but it’s only by throwing myself into uncomfortable situations over and over again that the skills are starting to feel a bit more natural.

And now I have one more data point to lend me a bit of confidence next time I’m panicking before an event!

The Traveling Librarian line edits are now complete! Only proof reading and cover art remains before publication. I’ll be traveling a bit this month, but will be working throughout. The book should be available for purchase sometime within the next two to three weeks!

I’m also pleased to announce that both The Wolf of the Library and The Traveling Librarian are being set up for wide distribution. Wolf will be available from most major retailers in the next few days, and Librarian will be launching wide upon release. I’m still working out the details for getting the books into libraries and brick and mortar stores, but that’s coming too.

Big thanks to those who came out support us yesterday! Looking forward to meeting more of you at future events. Until then, I’ll see you Among the Stacks.
- Mark Feenstra