Vulnerability
Zen Of Coaching (An online course for coaches)
Half-day Retreat, August 2nd
A Poem, For The Anniversary of My Death
What I’m Watching, Rafa
In 2010, a social work researcher from Houston gave a talk about vulnerability that has since been watched more than 50 million times. Brené Brown’s The Power of Vulnerability struck something deep and universal; the recognition that the walls we build to protect ourselves are often the very things that cut us off from the connection, creativity, and meaning we most want.
We tend to think of vulnerability as a choice; something we can opt into when we feel safe enough, or opt out of when the stakes feel too high. When I look more closely at the moments that matter most in my life and work, I find vulnerability already there, whether I chose it or not. And, at the same time we can choose vulnerability as a practice and as a way to live our lives, or we can choose to protect ourselves and narrow our worlds.
To lead is to be vulnerable. Every decision made under uncertainty, which is every real decision, is an act of exposure. You might be wrong. You might fail. You might discover that what you thought you knew was only partially true.
To love is to be vulnerable. Every genuine relationship requires the willingness to be seen, misunderstood, disappointed, and still remain open.
To be confident is to be vulnerable. Real confidence is not the absence of doubt. It is the willingness to act in the presence of it. The person who projects certainty to avoid exposure is not confident. They are defended.
To be humble is to be vulnerable. Humility requires admitting that you do not have all the answers, that others see things you cannot, that the map you are carrying is not the territory. That admission costs something. And it can act as important connective tissue.
Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki offers an image and practice for meditation that I find myself returning to often. He suggests letting go with each exhale and to not assume there will be another inhale. If there is an inhale, we might be surprised -- “oh, I’m alive.”
Suzuki was pointing at something radical: that this not-knowing, this living on the edge, is not something to be managed or overcome. It is a doorway. When we stop rushing to fill the gap, when we allow ourselves to rest, even briefly, in genuine uncertainty and vulnerability, something shifts. We might see more clearly. We might hold our assumptions more lightly. We find, in the space we were trying to avoid, a quality of aliveness that busyness and certainty cannot provide.
The question is not whether to be vulnerable. The question is whether to be conscious of it. When we are, something unexpected happens. The usual grip of control loosens. The exhausting performance of certainty softens. And in its place arises something that is more alert, alive, and unhurried. Maybe even a touch of wonder or joy.
Practice
In meditation, explore letting go of expectations with each exhale. Let yourself feel a deep sense of confidence and vulnerability.
Explore how it feels to be confident, humble, and vulnerable, in conversations, in relationships and at work.
Zen Of Coaching. An Online Course, beginning October 23rd
Zen of Coaching is a transformational program for executive coaches and leaders who want to deepen their presence, expand their impact, and build a coaching practice rooted in wisdom, not just performance. Blending Zen principles, mindfulness, and real-world leadership experience, this course—created by Marc Lesser, the Zen teacher and CEO who helped bring mindful leadership to Google—supports you in cultivating stillness, navigating complexity, and coaching with greater authenticity, clarity, and purpose.
Half-day Retreat, In-person (Mill Valley) and Online, Sunday August 2nd, 9:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.
In our world of busyness, of more/faster/better, this half-day retreat offers time to stop, reflect, and renew. Together we’ll follow a gentle schedule of sitting and walking meditation, a talk, and some discussion. Anyone looking to begin or deepen a meditation and mindfulness practice is invited to attend.
A Poem
For the Anniversary of My Death, by W.S. Merwin
Every year without knowing it I have passed the day
When the last fires will wave to me
And the silence will set out
Tireless traveler
Like the beam of a lightless star
Then I will no longer
Find myself in life as in a strange garment
Surprised at the earth
And the love of one woman
And the shamelessness of men
As today writing after three days of rain
Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease
And bowing not knowing to what
What I’m Watching
Rafa - An intimate and inspiring documentary series about tennis legend Rafael Nadal. Rare footage and candid interviews reveal the struggles, emotions, and extraordinary will behind one of sport’s greatest careers.
Warmest regards,
Marc
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