🧘 The Goblin Meditation

1. Sit somewhere slightly uncomfortable — not a monk’s cushion, but maybe a wobbly chair or a lumpy sofa. Goblins thrive in imperfection.

2. Close your eyes. Take three silly breaths. Inhale like you’re slurping spaghetti, exhale like a deflating balloon.

3. Imagine opening a tiny door behind your forehead. Step inside. There’s a cave, glowing faintly green.

4. Look around until you spot a small goblin. Maybe it’s juggling your deadlines. Maybe it’s asleep in a pile of snacks. Maybe it’s scribbling rude doodles on the walls of your mind.

5. Sit with it. Ask: “What do you want right now?”

6. Listen carefully. The goblin might not give wise answers. It might say: “Snacks!” or “Nap!” or “Dance break!” That’s fine. Write it down.

7. Thank your goblin, then step back out of the cave. Open your eyes.

You laugh at yourself, but you also notice what your restless energy actually craves. Maybe it needs movement, or a reward, or just to be heard.

Suddenly, instead of fighting your distraction, you’re working with it. This meditation isn’t about silence. It’s about meeting the noisy little creature that runs your circus.

This is a playful version of mindfulness + parts work (like Internal Family Systems). Overwhelmed brains benefit from anthropomorphizing impulses instead of suppressing them. By meeting your goblin, you gain self-compassion and better tools to redirect energy.

Don’t try to kill the goblin. Befriend it!

It’s the part of you that makes life messy, but also magical.