The following images are all from a recent, brief visit to Lake Michigan.
At first, I was slightly disappointed by the weather forecast -rain and clouds. But the weather ended up becoming part of the experience. The fog and mist constantly transformed the scenery, changing the landscape from one moment to the next.
It was beautiful.
“If there isn’t something wrong with you, I am not interested.”
I heard Anne Lamott say this on a recent podcast, and it made me laugh out loud because, truly, that is how I feel about people. I am not interested in perfection or performance. I am not interested in superficialities or a list of high-achieving accomplishments. Big, luxurious houses don’t impress me. I might enjoy visiting your home, but wealth has never moved me.
What moves me, first and foremost, is kindness.
Beyond that, what interests me most about a person are their stories, their struggles, and their imperfections. I want to know what someone has learned. How did they overcome? How did it change them? What wisdom did they gain along the way? I am looking for honesty, not a performance.
We are all performing to some degree. It is how many of us were taught to move through the world; it is how we cope, and sometimes, it is simply what is required of of us.
But performance is not how we create connection.
Connection begins with curiosity.
When someone asks a thoughtful question, I feel seen. Not because they are gathering information, but because they are genuinely interested. They want to understand who you are beneath the résumé, beneath the accomplishments, and beneath the image you present to the world.
Isn’t genuine curiosity one of the most important ingredients in connection?
I think we forget to ask questions. Or, we ask from a place of habit rather than interest, and we forget to stay for the answer. What is the point of asking if we aren’t listening? I have certainly caught myself asking but not truly listening. I have caught myself getting distracted, becoming impatient, waiting for my turn to speak. I have caught myself listening, only to forget what was said a minute later.
It seems to me that we have to relearn how to connect: through curiosity, attention, listening, and noticing.
The people I admire most are the ones who ask great questions. The ones who are curious enough to ask and patient enough to truly hear the answer. That is where connection begins, and that is where it thrives.
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful goal to focus on every single day - to make just one person feel seen?
As always, thank you for being here!
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