10 years ago, on Memorial Day I had a crying breakdown in a park while walking my dog and my husband had to come get me. Last year on Memorial Day I worked most of the day and then had to get my son and myself treated for lice. Every other Memorial Day fell somewhere between that spectrum of despair until this most recent 2025 Memorial Day.
Looking back, I’ve struggled on all long weekends but particularly Memorial Day - I think because it signals the start of summer - a new season. But if I keep repeating bad habits each season or not making or seeing “progress”, it hits harder towards the mid-point of the year.
Most long weekends have gone something like this:
The afternoon of the last workday before the break: Pure joy when people start signing of teams and email. That means fewer questions and last-minute requests for me!
The night before the break starts: I realize how exhausted I am and I “check out” mentally. My husband is used to this and picks up the slack.
The first day of the long week: this could go either way. If it’s a Friday, I might have just worked some anyway. Regardless, I wake up feeling like I’m on cloud nine.
The Saturday of the long weekend: Basically, the best day ever. I’m chill AF. But my husband is ready for any mood change.
The Sunday of the long weekend: Feeling pretty good because its like a regular weekend Saturday, but I’m likely taking on a project that’s too big.
The Monday of the long weekend: Absolute wild card for the morning. I could feel amazing have a great workout or hike. Or sleep in and stay in my pajamas. Or…start working so I can “catch up” since others won’t be on.
5pm on Monday of the long weekend: Sudden anxiety wave. Regret that I didn’t do more. Regret that I didn’t rest more. Regret that I didn’t play with my son more or relax with my husband more. Regret that I didn’t cook more. Determination to completely transform everything about my life tomorrow. My husband is always prepared for an emotional breakdown from me. Wow his life sounds fun, right?
So this year I really - dare I say “worked hard” - to approach Memorial Day differently.
Resisted the need to have a “big project” to do. I used to always have to play catch up in my life on long weekends and would rope my husband into really annoying house projects that drained us all. I really wanted to fish this exact post on Substack :), but I resisted the urge to force the finish.
Approached it as a regular weekend not the biggest opportunity ever to catch up - on sleep, on connections, on cooking
Packed my social schedule - I purposely packed 3 social activities into the weekend. I’m in the middle of the introvert and extrovert spectrum but more often than not I have to force myself to see people. But them I’m so thrilled I did. Genuine quality connection time felt so good.
I resisted productivity, especially on Monday. In fact, I did the opposite of productivity: I voluntarily went to a baseball game. That required 3 hours in a car and 3+ hours at the baseball field. Being present with my family.
10/10 would recommend my new approach to long weekend and I will do again. But the challenge of overworking and hypervigilance is really a challenge of mental fortitude to be practiced every day. I felt rested and ready to tackle work. But I had quick challenge ahead of me to focus on: An extra short week to travel for a conference for a day and then leave the next day to fly cross-country on an important friend visit. I was able to not work like crazy before my flights (very new to me) and not do too much email when traveling.
I had an essential quota of rest, so I was able to enjoy time with my friends and be my most present self! However, my return home this past week was also confronted with a high need for control and project finishing mode. This energy can be good but not with the intensity I typically bring to it. So I compromised, and maybe my most important project this week is actually hitting publish on my first post on Substack
We rest before we get tired
The “Pacing” meditation from Workaholics Anonymous Book of Serenity.
I’m writing this Substack to show that it is possible to change something big in your life. It’s 100% doable but requires small steps each day. I hope you liked this first post. Not all of them will be so workaholic focused :)
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