Maybe You Don't Need to Make New Year's Resolutions

How many “bigs” do you have? By “bigs” I mean the big BIG things that you could do something about, but you haven’t quite yet. I’ve had four main big things both consciously and subconsciously for years.

Bigs aren’t necessarily the hundreds of worries or the running to do list in your head. But the big projects, wishes and dreams that you’ve been meaning to “tackle” but now they have built up so big in your mind that they seem too hard to start. And then they - or the inaction you have for them - more or less haunts you a few times a day. Our inaction of them takes up too much mental space.

These dreams and initiatives you feel in your core can become so big in your mind that your mind starts making up stories - that they are too complicated, too big and will take so much effort to complete. That they can be don’t but require absolute perfection, devotion and an abundance of time (which no one thinks they have).

I’m now much better at catching and identifying these works of fiction than I used to be. And I’ve found that waiting in for the “perfect”, fresh or specific time to start something takes me away from the present - where I can actually take action.

(Part of me wants to write here about Eckhart Tolle’s enlightened ideal in The Power of Now that we can “continue to use clock time but are free of psychological time” but I need to relearn those lessons a bit more myself).

The key to tackling our “bigs” is to start - start small. Take a bite. A step. Take a few steps to kick-start momentum then flesh out a plan so you know the everyday decisions you can make to progress easily. To feel the alignment. You don’t have to wait until January 1st, or the weekend, or Monday or even Tomorrow.

My husband and dad are wonderful humans, and both simultaneously balance superpowers: (1) being the most patient and understanding individuals on the planet (2) while maintaining the right kind of impatience with a strong bias for action that keeps them moving and starting. It’s cheesy but true - Nike is right - Just do it. (spoiler: this is one of the reasons my husband gives for supporting his Nike shoe habit). It’s annoying but true and we fully believe in our household that we can start to change anything we want about our life, today.

It’s not easy but anyone can practice starting. When I think of my husband or dad as “perfect” or “robotic” I remind myself they more practice at starting because they have decided to. And my dad is especially a master of consistency. At work I have a bias for action 80% of the time (especially when it helps other people) but I’m still practicing it in my real life outside of the work accomplishment-hypervigilance cycle.

Of course, to start something, you have to know what the thing is. After some deep work in the last ~3 years I can finally articulate my four bigs (in no particular order)

1. Building a sustainable, leaner physique.

2. Make art - create something every day.

   1. Subtitle: I’m an artist who loves data and doesn’t make enough art)

3. Start continue my workaholic recovery

   1. Subtitle: Build an identity and potential revenue streams beyond my core advertising specialty

4. Master technical trading and invest more of our money

I’m so proud of myself for the tremendous progress I’ve made in the last 5+ months on goal 1 - Building a leaner physique in a sustainable, non-stressful way. If I had waited to take action until this time, this nebulous time period between Christmas and New Year’s, I would be devastated and ashamed I let myself down again. I didn’t do something big and important in my life again. I didn’t take care of myself again.

The timing of the New Year can add more pressure to the store that your resolution is so big it’s hard. Especially if you have “failed” at resolutions before. Or have difficult emotional memories during this holiday season.

So how did I actually do it? Instead of waiting until the New Year, I started a realistic, personalized eating and fitness program with a fantastic women’s 30+ strength and metabolism coach in July. I changed a vacation pattern and instead of overthinking again, I finally reached out to the coach on my last evening in Paris this summer after a friend’s recommendation months earlier.

Almost six months later, I have more muscle than I’ve ever had. I lost inches on my waist I didn’t know I needed to. I have more energy. (And if you’re into numbers I’ve lost about 12 pounds in all the right places). All while I’ve eaten more calories and carbs in years. And it was easier my mind assumed it would be. Because most days I make consistent decisions to follow the right plan for me, so it feels easy. I don’t have to be perfect with my macros or my workouts. Even just 3 months in, I felt empowered to tackle more of my bigs once I realized how much change I could actually make in 90 days.

My resources for starting / restarting (in case you need them!)

• Building a sustainable, leaner physique | I highly recommend Leeor Kelly - fat loss and food freedom coach for women

• Art + creativity | I’m taking my own advice on practicing creativity. I’m diving back into my watercolor lessons from Jenna Rainey and just got The Guided Sketchbook – Art Life Practice

  1. Subtitle: I’m an artist who loves data and doesn’t make enough art

• Workaholic Recovery | I have a hardcopy of this literature around me at most times :)

  1. Subtitle: Build an identity and potential revenue streams beyond my core advertising specialty

• Trading and Investing | Diving back into my Erin West lessons this week!

And a reminder that being ready is not a destination …

Music mood: