These days, I’m feeling a lot like this butterfly

It’s called a Mourning Cloak, or Nymphalis Antiopa. I’m going to call her MC for short. Unfortunately I was not able to locate an Indigenous name, which surely predates these.

I have never seen one in my garden (or elsewhere that I can recollect) until earlier this month. It’s been a cold spring here, and I took seeing her soft-looking, feathery wings as a harbinger of warmer weather. Despite her fragile appearance, MC’s presence also reminded me of resilience: Nymphalis Antiopa have among the longest lifespan of any butterfly. I can handle a few more chilly days; if MC is good, then I’m good.

Doing a little more research about my new visitor, I learned that—like butterflies as a symbol more generally—she represents transformation. The Mourning part of her name reminded me that I am typically more caught up in anticipation of what’s next, at times to the exclusion of a necessary period of grieving that which is passing. It’s being in the cold for a bit longer that will get us around the corner to embracing spring.

Some transformations that I’m currently rolling with and will be exploring here:

• The Wisdom of Cycles. Anyone who has arrived here via my professional network knows that I’m a devoted, lifelong fan of the menstrual and other natural cycles, and their right-brained, creative, non-linear, intuitive ways of being and understanding.

• The Wildness of Menopause. Further to this, it’s been two and a bit years since I crossed the menopause threshold, and it continues to reverberate. This stage of the macro cycle of my life is guiding and supporting me, particularly through the Wise Woman archetype.

• Adventures in Recovery. As most of you within shouting distance (or on the internet) are likely aware, I’ve been sober from alcohol for just over three years. Recovery is one of the most rewarding adventures that I have ever undertaken, and I’m now turning my focus to exploring “grey area” and “everyday addictions.”

• Attunement. This is a relatively new concept that I’m still developing. Basically it means aligning myself energetically more closely to the things that nourish me. It’s a far slower, quieter, gentler version of attentiveness than I have ever had the patience to practice before.

• Stretching new wings. Late last year I sold the company that I originally founded 30 years ago. My entrepreneur “cloak” is being shucked, and I’m now exploring a new identity as a writer, mentor and advisor.

• Reading and podcast picks (there are a bunch in this recent essay!), media interviews, and random garden photos.

Definitely not a weekly (or even monthly) missive. I’m more about quality than consistency. I am not currently (read: likely ever) planning to switch to a paid version.

Your attention is a treasured gift, and one of my biggest messages is “let’s talk.” I believe that connection breeds community breeds trust breeds safety breeds healing. I have been a committed foe of shame as it relates to menstruation for over three decades, and am only just beginning to build up a head of steam as it relates to addiction. What other shadows might we curiously peer into together? Please chime in; we’re all in this together.

Take care, everyone!