Nel Mezzo

In school, we are introduced to the mighty idea that learning and doing can be separated. We are first put in the classroom and taught the concepts in a well-structured manner. The teacher clarifies any confusion, reiterating if needed. We are given homework to reaffirm our understanding. Only then are we deemed ready and put in the exam hall for the “real” test. The implicit promise here is: if you study well, there will be nothing you cannot solve. Such reassurance is necessary of course; the spirits of children are easily broken and need to be shielded.

But many of us carry this expectation into adulthood, where no such scaffolding exists. The real world is infinitely chaotic and complex. We are constantly required to do things without knowing how to. Think starting a side business or building a personal website. When faced with the inherent unfamiliarity of such ventures, we often put it off or give up entirely.

A friend of mine recently began learning how to code. He had a task at work that needed to be automated and decided to put his newfound programming skills to the test. Soon enough, he ran into the proverbial bug. He tried different solutions from the internet but couldn’t get them to work. Frustrated, he declared that “I should first get an undergraduate degree in programming before I try to solve this problem”. As overkill as it may seem, we can relate to the discomfort he felt. We hate “not-knowing”.

The poet David Whyte offers a sobering insight. He says (and I paraphrase), “You can’t prepare for the world and then face it. You must do both at the same time. Nel Mezzo, ‘In the middle’.” Not learning then doing, but learning by doing. They are not separate, how can they be? This is a delusion that one has to grow out of.

We intuitively know why ‘learning by doing’ is so hard; it asks us to be vulnerable. In this mode of existence, we are pitted against the monumental expectations we place on ourselves. We are tyrants who refuse to accept even the possibility of failure. No wonder we’d rather not try. Overthrowing the tyrant takes humility, a sense of humor, and compassion (more on this soon). But ultimately it takes courage. The courage to begin, before you are ready. The courage to begin, knowing you will fail.

What have you been putting off because you aren’t ready?

P.S. My friend eventually did solve the bug. Without the degree.