Author | Workshop Leader | Consultant on Domestic Abuse
Diving in from where I left off in Part 1: Four: Be Careful About Overanalyzing Being aware will help you, but hypervigilance won t. The warning flags (which I ll discuss in my next post) are fairly clear if you re watching for them. So you don t need to be on extreme alert for little subtle signals. I ve
If you re a woman who s coming off of a relationship with a destructive man, it can be scary to think about dating again, and especially to contemplate taking the leap to start a new relationship. The last guy you were with seemed great early in the going, after all; so now you don t trust your
Doorway Into Life: Trading the System for the Way by Kay Williams review by Lundy What if you could step out of the mad race that modern life has become? What if you could stop pursuing “success” and status and wealth? What if you could find an entirely different way of living, one that’s already
This is a guest post by a survivor, ‘Ava,’ who sent me one of the most inspiring and encouraging stories I’ve heard in a long time. It’s also a painful story, but it demonstrates that conditions can improve dramatically sometimes. So keep on fighting for a life of freedom and love – it
Today’s post is going to be a little controversial. But then, that will hardly be the first time that has happened. I want to address a message I’ve received from men many times, one that has a particularly angry tone and goes something like this: “Why do you only talk about abusive men?? Why don’t
How come children who grew up together sometimes describe such strikingly different experiences of their childhoods? Why can they have sharply colliding views of what their parents were like as people, and as parents? Why can one person’s memories sound like inventions to his or her siblings? These differences in perspective can cause
For twenty years I’ve been receiving messages from furious men, or reading their spit-spraying rants online. I’ve chosen not to respond to them (well, maybe I did give into temptation a couple of times) because I don’t believe it serves any purpose. That style of man never examines what he’s saying, and he isn’t entering
Many of you have read Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, or have seen the Sean Penn movie of the same name; the movie starred Emile Hirsch and included a poignantly beautiful soundtrack by Eddie Vedder. If you did, you learned a version of the story with all the abuse excised from it. Into the
Men who abuse their partners are seizing on the latest excuse, and running off to bed with it: Sex Addiction. Yes, suddenly lots and lots of abusers are declaring that they aren t perpetrators, they re victims. They say they re trapped in an addiction, helpless over their behavior, driven by a deep compulsion that is beyond their control. They don t deserve criticism, they deserve compassion,…
Have you ever noticed that we refer to all animals as “he” unless we know for sure that they’re females? If you referred to, say, a squirrel as “she,” people would say to you, “Wait, how do you know it’s a ‘she’?” But if you call it “he,” nobody asks you how you know it’s