Starmap

We could visit the ancestral home planet
He vaguely waved to the stars
But it’s really full of chain restaurants these days
Or we could go to Planet Zoinks Murgatroyd
But it’s full of monkeys that don’t take their own medicine these day
they have contests in which they hit themselves in the face

There’s also Planet Alcoholic Shopping Spree
They invented the mini nose hair groomer there
They have everything—even man boob implants, which are very handy if you want to observe the monkeys on Planet Zoinks Murgatroyd

Your mother and I met on Planet Foreigner Lyrics. Now, that’s a stupid place. And it’s as cold as ice.

Or we could go to Planet Colonoscopy
It’s actually more relaxing than it sounds
And there is a free buffet after

Planet Hippy… Planet Busty… Planet Speech Impediment… There’s tons of these
Planet Never My Fault in the Cluster Bee Nebula
I’ve met a number of people from there. They’re robots. Or some strange android human fusion

I don’t know if I’ve been to Planet I’ve Forgotten Many Things. Maybe?

Planet Cool Hallways Where I Used to Work… Not cool as in visually interesting, cool as in warm. But not warm, cool. But warm in your heart but cool on your skin
Like a memory triggered by a walk and a breeze
You remember kite flying, or when some money blew away and you had to chase it
Or a hotdog napkin. And there was laughter.

(I know it is unsatisfying, but now this feels over
such is life)

Oh wait, we can always visit Planet Stooped, and Barely Able to Walk
People recognize you and say, George! You finally slowed down!

George sez you should always slow down to watch the women jog