The Many Feelings I Had Watching House of Stassi

I’ll admit I was curious about this show. I turned it on the day the episodes dropped (a feat for me at this stage in my life!) But what I expected and what we got feel vastly different and, based on what I’m seeing on the interwebs, there is a lot of varying discussions around if this show is good or if it’s just so jarringly different from other reality TV shows that it’s confusing people into thinking it’s good.

At first, I fell into the later. Luckily, the hardcore defenders aren’t so hardcore they’re dying on the hill of Stassi in the comment sections—in fact, it’s been a fun discussion on how people feel about the current slate of reality TV programing and how House of Stassi is challenging those standards (in good ways and in bad) so much so that it has turn into more of a think piece than I believe Hulu ever intended. And with all that thinking and dissecting, I found myself watching beyond episode two which, up until that point, had just been a promotion for every other show Hulu has in it’s programming and not enjoyable at all, and had me finishing the entire thing in a matter of days which is huge for me! I have a terrible habit of leaving one or two episodes on 90% of the shows I watch, if I watch past episode one. And it got me thinking….do I actually like this show? Or do I just like over analyzing this show (specifically with Hollaback Cards—we’ve texted AT LEGNTH.)

So, to me, this feels like an opportunity to remind everyone how multiple things can be true at once. I don’t know if I like it….but I don’t think I hate it? I don’t necessarily like Stassi or how she overproduces every single dinner scene…but I’m curious to see more (specifically of her closet but that’s beside the point.) And I would like to list out those things in an effort to exampling my own feelings about this show and see if anyone can relate.

Fans of the show will argue this is what makes House of Stassi special and revolutionary, but it’s what has me the most confused. They start off by making a show about making a show, which could be very interesting…but the constant confessional breaks to explain what’s happening, the weird on screen texts to meme-ify itself and make a little hehe moment at every possible second are too much!!

We kick things off by essentially sharing footage of some fight they filmed sixteen months prior and now we’re back and we’re filming all new footage. And calling Katie Maloney who has not be speaking to Stassi to get her reality TV boots on and get back in front of the camera. To me, this says “Hulu gave us a show, it didn’t test well, so they’re giving us another stab at it so we need to turn it up ten notches to make this work” and that’s what they do. We have fights out of nowhere, Stassi tells us she’s orchestrating moments to encourage confrontation because that’s what a “good producer does” and the cast fights about who should be here and who they’ve never liked and wish would leave….without introducing us to half the cast.

I needed an on ramp!

Sure, they touched on Stassi’s cancellation (kind of) and we made a point to call out the fact that Katie is here because we needed another reality TV vet to usher Stassi back onto TV, something she’s been trying to do for four years apparently. But some of the most deceptive moments (Rob and the Taylors don’t live in LA and the sisters are only here recently/temporarily and there’s no way in hell they’re sharing a room) we just….don’t mention. Or we dance around. So while we do pull back the curtain, a curtain is still there.

I don’t feel like Hulu is catering to our intelligence with this editing style, I don’t think Bravo needs to be worried about this revolutionary technique and I don’t think we should be using this as the benchmark for future TV—the thought of this being the norm actually scares me. I think Hulu and Bravo are doing entirely different genres of TV here that both fall under the reality TV umbrella. And maybe one could amp up the glimpses behind the curtain and not pretend we don’t know how TV works at this point, but the other doesn’t need to shout and point every single time they do to make sure we see it!!!

Also, and this is just a production note, stop with the “Chapters”. It’s confusing!

Katie Maloney told no lies when she said Stassi only surrounds herself with her kids, her family or people on her payroll. Sure, Kristina Kelly wasn’t on the payroll officially until the contracts were signed, but Taylor?? She says it herself! And even if Kristina and Taylor would like to pretend that is not the case…Stassi isn’t.

First, we’ve got the sisters—Georgia, who is visiting for no apparent reason (besides the show) and Georgi who doesn’t feel like Stassi has done anything for her besides torture her, pay for her wedding and divorce and give her free housing PLUS now this paycheck. Allegedly those two are sharing a bedroom in this house….

You can’t pretend to pull back the curtain on reality TV and then commit to the most ridiculous lie ever….these two are not sharing a room and they CERTAINLY AREN’T SHARING A BED LIKE THEY ALSO IMPLY.

Then there’s Taylor and her pregnant wife, Teddy (whose real name is Taylor and we sometimes call Tay but we changed it for the show because they decided Georgi and Georgia were already too much), who live in New York but are pretending they cannot conduct business from there and are living in LA until it’s no longer safe to fly aka until filming wraps. Then there’s Rob who has zero business being here except to add male energy for Beau to work alongside even though I don’t really think Beau likes him? And then we have the elusive, “I have been asked to be on reality TV countless times and always say no but want you to know it was in the cards” Kristina Kelly, who keeps showing up here with her coat on, never fully committed to the bit and always coming to and from her child’s bedtime.

As stated, this show clearly followed the group for a few months and realized something was missing (starting with Beau’s tattoo), so they called in the big guns. A professional. Someone who, sure, could use the paycheck and the self promotion, but also someone who has been inherently fine with never being in front of the camera again. Katie Maloney comes in and it scrambles everyone and, while at times that can be frustrating to watch because of all those fourth wall breaks, it was a necessary plot point for moving this show forward for me and I think, while it wasn’t their intention, Katie became the break out star of this show because of it.

Some of us know Katie has always been a star.

This all being said…I do think the cast could have legs? There could be a future here the longer I watch? But, while we’re all about breaking the fourth wall when it comes to talking about bringing Katie into the show, we need to be honest about the rest of this crew. You are on the payroll. You have been sitting around, waiting for this show to take off for years at this point. You are using Stassi’s trench coat tails as a means to boost yourselves and I think the next logical (and groundbreaking) step is to put everyone’s salaries at the bottom of the screen like a ticker. Tell me how much you were paid to be here! Tell me if you actually live in the area or have uprooted your life to make it seem like you’re Stassi’s ride or die. Pull the curtain back all the way or not at all!!!

Oh, AND ONE MORE THING….if you’re going to bring up Scheana Shay once an episode, maybe put her on the payroll too!

Look, I know I’m may be overly pro therapy sometimes—it may even come off preachy. But we have met Stassi’s mother. We’ve met the vast majority of her ex boyfriends. We’ve seen how Stassi apologizes, watched her sister mooch off her, seen her drag herself back from the depths of cancellation which happened while pregnant and, again, we’ve met her mother. In a beret.

So all I can say is, Stassi….get a therapist. I do think it would do wonders!! Which seems to be the consensus from the cast and main theme of this show as well. Everyone—Kristina Kelly, Taylor, the other Taylor we call Teddy, Beau, Katie, Morgan Stewart(?)—is wondering how and why Stassi has not dabbled in therapy yet. Between those deranged exes, her family dynamics, reality TV in general, being a child of divorce and, again, THE MOTHER, these issues all deserve several therapy sessions of unpacking! Even as a viewer, it’s a lot and I don’t think produced for TV.

…and that’s not even touching on her marriage which seems to be, like all marriages, is challenging, but unlike most marriages, a storyline on a reality TV show.

This cast is big on breaking the fourth wall, so much so that they keep telling us when they’re doing it and patting themselves on the back, which can feel a little (or a lot) over produced at time. Like they’re all in on the bit and committed to leaning into their issues for the sake of the check. Which if that’s the case, fine! Carry on!

But if it’s not….if there’s some threads of truth dancing around these weirdly broken out “chapters”, especially the ones regarding Beau’s happiness and need for friend-terventions….I don’t know if reality TV helps it?

I think the realest part about this show is watching Stassi and Beau interact. Sometimes I cringe, sometimes I don’t know if it’s for the cameras, sometimes I know it is, but sometimes I do see just a couple with two toddlers, chaotic schedules and individual dreams that tend to fall by the wayside for the sake of taking care of said children and it’s relatable. But it’s also concerning, clearly just as much to their friends/employees as it is to the audience since we keep brining it up.

Beau wants to go back to work and stop being Mr. Dad. Stassi isn’t a fan of that idea. Beau and Stassi fight about that. Beau goes back to work despite that fight. Stassi does not ask about it once. And she doesn’t know he dyed his beard.

I said after episode two this show was just one massively overproduced Hulu promotional bit and the people praising it as a work of genius just want to get invited to Hulu’s Get Real event this year…and I stand by that. BUT episodes 5-8 really picked up steam for me. And the ending, the fight on the Queen Elizabeth where Stassi and Beau’s employees friends stage an intervention with Stassi because they’re worried Beau’s unhappiness will lead to a divorce or affair and Beau suddenly turns that around to Stassi can’t give the kids dinner and put them to bed without help….

THOSE TEARS were very real and very valid and I’m suddenly wondering how I was ever team Beau with a comment like that—and I'm not saying Stassi is a perfect mom. Beau clearly does a lot with this kids, might feel like the authority to those kids and therefore when Stassi is solo, her parenting moments are hard. But to her point, a man would get away with going out and being the bread winner and having to do less around the house because he’s working and the wife shoulders more….I’m not saying it’s right and Stassi shouldn’t take note of that, but they have a nanny? Beau is not a 50s housewife trapped in the house all day.

When I started the show, I was on the “seeing Beau sad is making me sad” side of Threads and that’s where I felt the most comfortable. Since people have made there way through the episodes though, I am now suddenly being inundated with the “Beau is the probably and has always been the problem and he’s sketchy” takes and I am SHOCKED how crowded it is. Stassi’s issues are so overt that I do think they overshadow Beau’s, especially with her cancellation never far from our minds, but to find out how strongly people feel about him and his producer background….I’m wondering if I’m worried about them wrong things? Is there something about Beau I’m missing?

Either way, despite how I end up feeling about this show (and I’m still not totally sure), I do want these two to work out. I do like them together. And once Beau got that (hideous) tattoo to make Stassi feel better, I did feel better too…..and then the boat ride from hell happened and I don’t know how we go forward from here!! And I don’t know how they put cameras down!!!

• What the hell was that story about Rob and the girlfriend whose family notoriously takes negative pregnancy tests so they got excited and bought baby books but were never pregnant???

• Did they ask Kristina Kelly to be on every single iteration of VPR/ The Valley?? Show me those contracts.

• Is ANYONE friends with Scheana Shay?

• Did Georgia and Georgi ever live together?

• Do Taylor and the artist formerly known as Tay but now goes by Teddy actually expect us to believe this baby isn’t named after Beau?

• Why didn’t they have those Vanderpump Villa girls as cast members if they’re so close to Stassi that they were forced to play dodge ball?

• Should we expect a Hulu show from Morgan Stewart or Chrishell in the near future? Why are they here?

• Will Stassi ever go to emo night?

Somehow, by the end of this binge sesh and rant, I want more. I have more questions and I’m willing to fight through the unnecessary graphics and cameos to get there. For me, the show isn’t interesting because of Stassi….I like seeing her clothes and the dynamics between her and Beau, but I am fascinated by the production of it. And not in the way I think Hulu intended or other people are receiving it.

They made a show about making a show. And now I do believe they have a show….and I wonder if they’ll know what to do with it?

Will Taylor and other Taylor/Teddy admit to living in NY or transplant their whole lives to LA after the success of the show? Will Kristina Kelly take her coat off and stay a while? Will Beau go back to work and will Stassi notice? Will Hulu ask Katie to convince Dayna or Ariana to film more scenes and will Stassi’s original employees worry about being ousted? Will Kristina Kelly remind us about her turning down a lifelong career as a reality TV star? Will we pretend anyone wants Georgia and Georgi around, including Georgia and Georgi?? Will we see the inevitable fall out with Stassi’s mom and text rant from Nikolia? Will Stassi and Beau talk through their Queen Elizabeth fight?? WILL STASSI GO TO THERAPY???? Will we finally send Rob, who looks like he aged ten years during this, packing and bring in another male foil for Beau….if production is looking for ideas, my vote is for Schwartz and then people can really allude to Bravo needing to worry that this crew will take down the Valley.

And will anyone cast Scheana Shay on one of these shows or will we continue to use her name and likeness to promote them with zero compensation???

I would say Hulu needs to pick up cameras and get back to work but….this is Hulu. We’ve seen how many season of Mormon Wives they churn out a year so I have to assume cameras were already up. In fact…it almost feels like they left the show on a cliffhanger and have more episodes in the vault to throw at us in the next few months…

But that’s just my personal conspiracy theory!

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