Temporary

People tell me this is magical

Motherhood

But I’m frozen

Wondering where the magic is

Between feeding the baby

Never sleeping

People come and go

To meet the little one

I feed them too

I tell them I am well

That baby is a good baby

I have no reason to complain

I wanted my baby so much

And he is so loved

So why do I feel

Like motherhood

Is the most confusing

And isolating experience of my life

Your baby is magical

His little nose

His little noises

His little fingers

His little toes

But how do you explain

That beyond that magic

You miss your husband

And your dog

Even though they are right there

You miss your friends

Whose lives go on without you

That breastfeeding hurts so much

But you feel like you’ll be a failure if you give it up

That the baby bubble

Is you staring at your sleeping baby

Worried if they cry you won’t be able to soothe them

That the midwives say the hormones get better after day 10

But you’re on week six

Wondering if you’ll ever feel like yourself again

But you still get up every day

And make sure your baby is looked after

Is loved

Sees you smile

Sees you laugh

Feels safe

Is held

Is kissed

Because that’s what mums do

I want to hug my mum, more than ever

And thank her for going through this all for me

And tell all my friends who are mothers

That I’m so sorry I didn’t get it before

But I do now

And I am so proud of you

For sustaining a little life

And I want to tell myself

This stage is temporary

And it’s not just you who feels like it

So go easy on yourself too

Go easy on yourself too