This comment was left on my Facebook page and it’s been sitting with me ever since. He wrote: “When your career ended due to online paranoia. I remember you before what the fuck you have become now. So sad.” He even repeated the “so sad” bit, like he was really trying to drive the point home. It’s the kind of message that looks like concern on the surface but lands like a flat-out gutless dismissal of everything that has actually happened.
The gaslighting in it is absolutely outrageous. What he's calling “online paranoia” is actually a string of very real, very frightening events that went way beyond the internet. Trans activists tracked down my private home address. They showed up at my door to threaten and intimidate me, loitered around my property, and hassled my neighbours with intrusive questions about my personal life. On another occasion, someone tried to break in while I was inside. I was on the phone to 999, and the operator told me to barricade the door with my sofa. After all that, they reported me to the police for talking about what they had done. And somehow, in this guy’s version of events, the whole thing gets reduced to me being paranoid and having changed beyond recognition.
That is what gets me the most about this whole situation: the blatant, shameless two-tier system that runs right through it. The people who do the doxxing, the threats, the doorstep visits, and the attempted break-ins don’t seem to face any real consequences. But the minute a woman like me notices the pattern, speaks about it publicly, and refuses to stay quiet, the system suddenly finds all the energy in the world. They arrest you, drag you into the courts, put you through the stress, the expense, and the public scrutiny all because discussing what the perpetrators actually did is apparently enough to make them feel “harassed.”
And it’s not just the fruitcakes turning up on your doorstep. The real institutional failure is that the authorities, the police, the CPS, and the courts too often side with the perpetrators and punish the victims for noticing. They treat women stating biological reality as the greater threat. After months of hell, the CPS often drops the charges and admits they never really had evidence in the first place. This isn’t incompetence it’s a pattern of choosing ideology over justice, feelings over facts, and activists over ordinary citizens trying to live safely in their own homes.
I don’t usually bother replying to comments like this on social media because there's rarely any point when someone has already made up their mind. But every now and then a comment is so ridiculous, so dripping with gaslighting and victim-blaming, that it deserves to be put on blast. This is one of those times.
I remember who I was before all of this too. I was just a woman going about my life saying what I thought was obvious: that sex is real, that it matters, and that women’s rights and safety should not be sacrificed on the altar of someone else’s mental illness and all this DEI nonsense being shoved down everyone’s throats. None of that made me hateful or extreme. It made me someone who noticed what was going on and refused to pretend otherwise. I had finally released my second album after the lockdowns and was genuinely happy and excited about getting back to my music, the road, the shows, and a fresh start. That was the plan. That was the version of me you claim to remember.
And the truth is this is not just my story. It's happening to so many other women and men right now. You see the same pattern again and again: a mother who speaks up about her daughter’s school gets doxxed; a nurse raising concerns about single-sex spaces finds activists at her work; a dad questioning medical transition faces threats and police visits while the activists walk free. Teachers, doctors, athletes, parents, writers, young people, ordinary people who refuse to pretend feelings override facts, that mental illness should rewrite biological reality, or that DEI checklists matter more than truth and safety. They get the online pile-ons, the real-world intimidation, and the selective enforcement. Women lose jobs, friends, and safety in their own homes. Men who stand with them get labelled bigots. All because they won’t stay silent about our daughters’ sports, our sisters’ hospital wards, our children’s schools, and our basic right to speak without fear of a mob at the door.
So thanks for the reminder, random guy in my comments section even if it wasn’t the one you meant to give. This is exactly why we keep speaking. The pattern is clear, the evidence is there for anyone willing to look, and women and the men who support them aren't going to be bullied into silence.
We all deserve better. We deserve institutions that protect victims instead of shielding perpetrators. We deserve a society that values truth, safety, and fairness over ideology. We deserve to live without fear that noticing biological reality will cost us our careers, our peace, or our security. The gaslighting stops when enough of us refuse to play along. We're still here. We're still talking. And we're still not shutting up.
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