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Loud And Quiet · Aug 12, 2026

Donald Trump’s Summer Playlist 2026

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Hayden Merrick · Loud And Quiet

Loud And Quiet is a wholly independent, subscriber-funded publication not affiliated with the Trump administration in any way and double-definitely did not receive a small loan of a million dollars in exchange for publishing the following playlist, curated by American Hero Donald J. Trump, with whom, again, Loud And Quiet is not affiliated

Lameduck EX-president Obuma has been boring our Great Nation with his annual Summer Playlist for many years, wasting everyone’s time with irrelevant Radical Left Traitor music that makes babies CRY. It’s a horrible thing to do, really is. But he forgot one thing: Nobody knows music better than Donald J. Trump!, who everyone says could have been the greatest playlister of his generation, perhaps any generation, if he didn’t have to step up and SAVE AMERICA. The ultimate sacrifice.

I have studied all music. Ask anyone. Even tuneless Thugs and Amateurs like dried-up prune rocker Bruce Springsteen and the Bad Bunny rabbit or whatever his name is. Terrible! Today, as everyone knows and RESPECTS, The United States of America is the strongest it has ever been. Murder is down to the LOWEST level since 1900. That’s a long time. Beautiful Oil is flowing like never before. So pure you could drink it. President DONALD J. TRUMP finally has the bandwidth to reveal the greatest songs to soundtrack your Wet Hot American Summer – and which Oligarch Obama FAILED to tell you about. Shame! Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP.

The perfect Summer Playlist begins with a scene setter. This one from my old friend Kid Rock – not actually his real name if you can believe it – is so summery and feel-good it takes me back to endless, blissful days gnawing homemade jerky on a secluded island.

One of our finest secret agent patriots also knows his way around the wooden guitar. Who knew? Terrific guy, special guy. Full of love for his country, just as I am full of love for his country.

Everything you need to know about the economy is in this one.

Each full moon as I shed my skin and prepare for the application of my new coat, a bespoke blend made from tartrazine, carnauba wax (coating agent), kerosene, klan semen, Orange E111 GGN, corpse dust, and the tears of lowercase-r republicans, I like to don one of my crowns and frolic through the grounds of Mar-a-Lago to this track from my good friend Kenya. It makes me feel like a king. Which I could be if I wanted. I’ll leave that up to the people.

Donald J. Trump is the ONLY president to ever survive such a thing, as documented by the good men in this musical group. People are saying my head is a hundred times thicker than Lincoln’s. Maybe thicker still. Brave!

From the decade when America was GREAT, this number is about a toy, a smartphone, and a penis, all in one. Fun for all the family. For all his faults, including being dead, I have lots in common with Chuck, who knew what he wanted, how to get it, and how to write a song about it. But, as mentioned, he is dead and I am not.

This clever lady made Donald J. Trump lots of Big Beautiful memes for his birthday, which hang proudly in the presidential enema room beside the framed first dollar I ever embezzled. Her music is deemed awful but despite the constant negative press covfefe

Everything you need to know about Democrat traitors is in this one. And, as I always say, every day is a green day when you and your reptile associates make riches off the exploitation of the underclass.

I’ve got a lot of time for the Village People – hardworking industry guys who represent traditional American values. This tune plays at all my rallies. It makes me feel like I can dance away decades of despicable, unspeakable, unforgivable secrets that are literally rotting me from the inside. Did you know you can spell out the title of this song with your fingers if you practice keeping your elbows pinned to your love handles? I HAVE MASSIVE HANDS.

Women come and go but music is forever. This song is actually only 3:23 – the length of time it takes me to replace the entire leadership board of any major government institution and quaff a presidential sized Big Mac meal – but you can just hit replay again and again so the point stands.

I put this song on to stay hard during Melania’s and my quarterly special-exercise time. Nobody ever wrote a song about Sleepy Joe or Gavin Newscum. Sad!

Every line in this MAGA rap is terrific but, gun to my indestructible head, my favourite is probably, “I’m a racist, I’m a sexist, I’m in love with Donald Trump.” Proust!

Donald J. Trump has a lot of time for American girls. Especially the best of the best.

My doctors say I do have a small colony of maggots in my brain but this is totally normal and they will go away on their own once they’ve finished feasting and this shouldn’t impact my cognitive abilities or capacity for empathy……. That’s exactly what they said. Aced the medical exam. Top of the class. It’s a beautiful thing.

Everything you need to know about foreign policy is in this one.

A playlist lets you speak from the heart, subtly, about things you could never say out loud.

Xxxx

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