Me and Dom at The Wagon (the same holiday I referenced in my last post.) I think he was genuinely happy, I know I was.
Sometimes I feel very conflicted, writing about the grief which follows losing a child: whilst I don’t want to make it all sound impossibly bleak, I worry that, at times, I veer towards making the process sound so much easier to manage than it truly is. I’m sorry if this thought has ever crossed your mind too, but I would understand, because I’m aware that I’ve found my own, very personal, way of framing my son’s death as not just a loss, but an opportunity. And this may not at all be the way you have experienced losing your own child.
Today’s first repost is, I hope, an antidote to any of my recent annoyingly evangelical declarations. Because it digs down into the deep wound that every single parent carries after their child is no longer physically here. And I describe this as a feeling of Yearning.
Yearning
·
July 17, 2025
Most of us have heard of the different ‘Stages of Grief’. Originally just five, these were later extended to seven in acknowledgement of the often-complicated nature of loss. In recent times, their creator, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, has been criticised for suggesting that we experience grief in a linear fashion, smoothly moving between ‘stages’, when the r…
This yearning though, I don’t know about you but I think there’s only so much of it I can tolerate because it’s SO BLOODY PAINFUL. Sometimes I’ve wondered whether my personal inability to stay WITH this pain has led to my devising a way to avoid it. By ‘pretending’ that, although I can’t physically see him any more, Dom is actually still around.
But maybe that’s what ‘healthily’ grieving our child looks like. I’ve definitely noticed how the faces of other bereaved parents brighten up when they talk about how they continue to feel their child’s presence. I’ll leave you to decide whether the way in which I still communicate with Dom marks me out as more or less sane…here’s Unbreakable Bonds
Thanks for reading, and I hope you’ve found something in amongst my words which resonates and has brought you comfort. How we grieve our son or daughter is unique to each of us, but I have learnt that I’m far from alone in seeking to maintain an ongoing relationship with my child. And in my next post I’ll be writing about what this looks like, moving forward.
My aim in all my writing is to share my journey in ways which help other parents navigating child loss feel less alone. Posts are free…but if you wish to show support, I always appreciate new subscribers and any sharing of my work. The buttons are below, thank you.
Stories from other bereaved parents can be found in Tears, Tools and Treasure. And if you would like to share your own story here, you are warmly welcomed to DM me.
Unless otherwise stated, every word in this post is my own. No form of AI was used to produce it as I believe in the importance of lived experience and authentic expression.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.