Occasionally, this blog is relevant―like really, really relevant. Topical too. Like when the sportsball team from my ancestral homeland makes the national news with an epic crowd chant, and the hot new beats widget is up within the week. The Viking Row is a popular soccer chant used by the Norwegian team. It consists of two [ ]
Here on Los Doggies Dot Com, we ve blogged about birds. We ve blogged about the loudest note in the world and the Emergency Broadcast Signal. Now it s time for all three—the loudest bird in the world that sings an annoying set of tones like a FEMA alert. The White Bellbird has recently gone viral for his [ ]
Whenever the people sing in the streets, Los Doggies Dot Com is there to investigate. Years ago we covered the Occupy protests and the Women s March. Recently, our intrepid musicologists went down to the City (what people from New York call Manhattan ) to cover the Hands Off protest—a giant parade where you could get your [ ]
I recently attended a sportsball game for the first time in years and it was quite the hypersensory experience. Yankee Stadium hit different. The musical score of the game wasn t limited to a Hammond organ played live from the organist s nest (right beside the sniper s nest). Now the Yankees music director has a whole soundboard [ ]
Today my whole dwelling shook like a bowl full of Mexican jumping beans, which I assumed was a hallucination until I heard the belated tones of the the Emergency Alert System. Did we just get HAARP d? Have the Nephilim returned? No, it was just a rare and mild New York earthquake that got us Yankees [ ]
We ve finally caught up with the times and turned overwrought bloggies into easily digestible videos. Here s the latest on the age-old Vanilla Ice vs. Queen controversy. We, of course, side with the former.
Yodeling was inspired by donkeys. Bored shepherds in the alps needed a way to pass the time and found inspiration in their asses. They sang to the mountains with donkey voices and the mountains sang back, or another yodeler, or a donkey. Yodeling is one of the manliest forms of singing. You start with your [ ]
There are three notes for when shit gets real. The popular Dun Dun Duuun has been around for centuries and pops up in every piece of media. You know what notes I m talking about when I say Dun Dun Duuun. There s even a Wikipedia entry for Dun Dun Duuun! A dun on the Eb, another [ ]
FEMA attacked everyone s phones this week with a couple dissonant tones. No one in America could escape them. It s nice to know we re all connected by something so horrible. Sometimes I forget there s a society out there, stuck as I am in my solipsistic bubble-boy existence. I actually turned my phone off on Wednesday afternoon, [ ]
I ve been obsessed with these two chords lately. The first is a Bb major with a C root, and the second is a C major with a Bb root. C/Bb and Bb/C. The bass moves up from Bb to C, while the top moves down from C to Bb. It has an up yet down [ ]
Lost was peak Hollywood television. Long before the bulimic formula of consuming entire seasons in a sitting, viewers would have to wait an entire week in between cliffhangers, discussing single episodes around the watercooler like rats. The average TV-goer would ve thought about an episode the next day and possibly envision in their mind s eye what [ ]
Mike Tyson was a hero to many Gen X kids as the end boss from Mike Tyson s Punch-Out!! until he raped a girl and bit off Holyfield s ear IRL. Then he became vegan and everyone really hated him. But now, he s back eating meat and appearing on all the bro-tier podcasts. Iron Mike is once [ ]
Clowns used to be the height of children s entertainment, but after Pogo and Silly Billy, clowns fell out of fashion. They survive today as horror-movie villains and meth-bands for adult entertainment. Kids would rather see sexy-ass drag queens than some stupid clown. I knew a girl in college whose parents were both clowns. She had [ ]
The old sounds of money were so pleasing they could fill a symphony, or a psychedelic blues song. From the cha-ching of old timey cash drawers to the bling-bling of the petrodollar, money used to spread euphony like disease. Cash registers rang like slot machines and everyone had dollar-signs in their eyes. It s enough to [ ]
Ahwooga is a popular sound made by old timey cars, lusty cartoon wolves and construction workers. Even old timey submarines were submerging to a loud loop of ahwoogas. The guy who invented the Klaxon horn also invented hearing aids, so you do the math there. In the early aughts, the City was just beginning to [ ]
Ba dum tss is a popular drum fill used to punctuate a bad joke that dates back to the early 1900s, around the same time as the birth of the drum set. Back then, drummers sat behind the curtains or screen, providing live foley for cabaret or silent films. Ba dum tss has been around [ ]
Pong wasn t the first video game, but it was one of the first with sound effects. In the movie biz, they say the final product is 51% music, 49% picture. The sound informs the visual, as the soul possess a body. If you take the music away from E.T., it s as awkward as family dinner. [ ]
Modern life is full of obnoxious sounds—ambient noise, schizophonia, and industrial music—but there is one sound so nasty that it cuts through all of them, which is kind of the point. Of course, we re talking about the iPhone s default alarm sound, known as Radar. Did somebody drop a penny down the drain? Did the world s [ ]
TikTok is the latest spyware that all the kids are cuckoo for. You can see every kind of degeneracy on it, from prepubescents twerking in dishabille to fully-grown adults twerking in scrubs, although it s still not as bad as YouTube with its vibrant monkey-torture community. Every platform is pretty uniform these days; they re all TikTok. [ ]
Everyone s favorite megacorp (but nobody s favorite network), Amazon, uses a throwback chime for their original productions. NBC used real chimes back in the day, but now it s all digitally created by some EDM nerd on a DAW, or maybe by the Almighty AI Itself. As far as chimes go, the Amazon chimes are top-tier. It s [ ]
There is no more insufferable group of people than cyclists, even more despised than the vegans. Music theorists are a close third in the insufferability Olympics, which is held in Portland each day. My small town wishes they could compete. One man can only be so insufferable, so I don t consider myself a cyclist per [ ]
In this Reddit video, a man whistles atonally to summon an American Bald Eagle for breakfast. Click on the video below to listen. Don t be mad at my accidentals, you nerd. It s atonal! I can only whistle atonally myself. It took me forever to learn how to blow a note. It wasn t until my friend [ ]
It s that time once again. Break out the Los Doggies Christmas Songbook. Be sure to add our OG Christmas songs to your yuletide playlist. And be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
Born in the golden age of 80s gaming, it was always my dream to become a real-life video-game composer. Now nearly one hundred years later, I ve made that dream a reality with the help of PICO-8. PICO-8 is a virtual console and game-making machine. The music editor looks like pic below. Instead of being read [ ]
I am the whippoorwill that cries in the night. No, actually—I m just a guy. But sometimes I do cry in the night. After sunset, you can hear whippoorwills sing their own name. Scientists call them goatsuckers in Latin. Guess how they got that name. There is not a poet born in America who hasn t been [ ]
Companies have become so lazy, they don t even produce jingles anymore. They just score them out on the side of their product and expect you to grab three of your friends from the barbershop to make it audible. As you can see, there is no play button on this package so if you want to [ ]
There is a fine line between the spoken word and the musical tone. The more a phrase is repeated the more musical it becomes. This is illustrated in the speech-to-song illusion. Repeat a phrase over and over and listen as it magically transforms into a melody. This can be accomplished much quicker with sarcasm. Sarcasm [ ]
I know well the feeling of watching an entire episode of The Price Is Right while eating an entire box of Triscuits. I ve been a retired housewife most of my life. How I dreamed of being on this show! I wouldn t run down the aisles like the other Karens. I would stride confidently when my [ ]
In our last post, we covered the Duolingo Sound of Success, a happy Major Third inspired by door bells, store chimes, dial tones and car horns, which were in turn inspired by Big Ben s bell song Westminster Quarters. Now we turn our aural gaze to a more dissonant, evil sound—The Sound of Failure. If the [ ]
There s a new Major Third in town. Move over church chimes and door bells. Eat your heart out, Big Ben. This new Major Third is nasty—it s in F-Sharp! The Duolingo sound for correct guesses is a pair of sixteenths notes from F# to A#—the happy part of a Major chord. A reverse door bell: the [ ]
TV and film bumpers can pack a lot of music into a short window. They often run through multiple key changes in mere seconds. Cadences bleed into other cadences. Power choruses stacked upon lesser choruses. The TV bumper does all the work of a three-minute pop song in the course of fifteen seconds or less. [ ]
Let us now reach back through the annals of time to recover a dirty little song that children used to sing to their bowels as they danced the Valsalva. This song was passed along in the great oral tradition from camp to camp, school to school, long before anyone would think about recording such a [ ]
The long-awaited sequel to Dos Doggies is finally here. Lost Doggies by Los Doggies, not to be confused with Los Doggies (2001) by Los Doggies, our first album. Dos Doggies (2002) was the sequel, and this is a kind of third one in a Godfather III sorta way. An album 20 years in the making [ ]
Before the government bans all manner of horns, let s have a timely post on everybody s favorite—the portable air horn. Like Pavlov s bell, I m pretty sure every living creature despises this cruel sound. More jump-scare than sound object. The loudness is definitely the most annoying aspect, but the portamento also plays a role in this handheld [ ]
As an 80s boomer, I missed out on the Pokémon craze, although I am tangentially aware of it, and like most normie folk, I can name at least a dozen or so pocket-monsters from the primary series. I don t really know how to pronounce the word Pokémon. I say pokey, like an American philistine. Jigglypuff [ ]
We made a Christmas album, unironically. Our last release from two years ago was a Christmas song. We re basically an indie Christmas band at this point. We don t have much else going on. I like Christmas music with its bells, glocks, and idiophones galore. It sounds like Bruce Springstein s E Street band has taken over [ ]
I ve watched The Office a dozen or so times. I m so old, I watched it when Netflix used to limit how many hours you could stream. (I only larp as an eccentric during the day. At night, I go full normie scumbag and watch TV.) At the time, I thought The Office was the [ ]
While reviewing this blog and the animal music chronicled within its webpages, I discovered a glaring omission: I had yet to notate a donkey! How could I be so foolish to overlook one of the most iconic musical cries in the animal kingdom, the humble hee-haw ? Donkeys are a cartoonish kind of horse. They are [ ]
A screaming kee-eeeee-arr comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now. The red-tailed hawk makes a cliché call as it soars. You ve heard it in movies in a million mountainside scenes, as a leitmotif for Natives, and a non-diegetic joke. It s basically the Wilhelm scream for [ ]
The bullfrog is so named for his bullish mating call, the jug-o-rum. Here s how the bullfrog got his name: Long ago, some dandy fop was cycling his velocipede around a Northern pond, lost in transcendentalist musings, when he heard what sounded like a bull bellowing from the shallow end. The dandy fop shined his lantern [ ]
The green frog sounds like he s mocking you. He calls out GUNK! Gunk! Gunk!, which is oft compared to a banjo twang, but he may as well be saying Uh doy! This should really be notated in bass clef but I don t want to confuse anyone anymore than usual. And I certainly don t want any [ ]
While wandering around the woods recently, I came upon a mutation of thrushes. That s what a group of thrushes is called: a mutation. Ancient scientists believed thrushes mutated on their 10th birthday, growing new legs or something, which is strange because they only live 9 years. Scientists used to be so stupid, not the infallible [ ]
In the late 80s, the Soviet mind game Tetris invaded American shores. I was busy ducking under a desk for weekly air-raid drills in the basement of my elementary school. You see in those days, it was the right-wing conservatives who were hyping the Soviet threat. Now everything s flip-flopped and it s the libs who see [ ]
Birds and videogames. That s what we re all about these days. I don t play videogames anymore, and birds are kinda annoying, but I still like them both for some reason. With all of the Nintendo shilling on this blog, the humble grey E-brick known as Game Boy has never been mentioned once, and that s got to [ ]
As the government spends billions of public funds trying to blackmail you into getting an experimental shot, everyone and their grandma is now a shill, and some celebrities are having fun with it. Mariah Carey posted this video to her Instagram recently and I ve bothered to notate it. There is a popular conspiracy theory that [ ]
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Sorry, your browser doesn t support HTML5 video, but you can download this video from our website. We made this short inspirational film. Please watch The Jogger and comment below why you like it.
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Everyone in America has heard the song of the red-winged blackbird. It s one of those birds that sounds like a dial-up modem. Back in the old days, you had to fire up the internet and it played sweet electronic music like a chorus of annoying birds. Now the internet is always on and it sucks. [ ]