The teen parenting tip that changed family life

Every Friday night in our house we usually have a ‘drinks n’ crisps” gathering. Everyone chooses a packet of crisps to go with a drink of choice, it’s our way of celebrating the end of the week and creating a family moment together for the 6 of us. If crisp line ups (like ours above) were used to sum up a family’s individual personalities this would be us!

I look forward to our ‘crisps n’ drinks’ with great anticipation and even if the six of us aren’t all in the room every time (my eldest has left home) I’d say we make it happen regularly enough for it to have become a family heirloom of sorts. (I have to hide the posh crisps in the washing machine ahead of our Friday gathering or someone snaffles them).

I cling to rituals like this with a demonic tenacity, for me they are the glue of family life, a magical moment that creates a sense of belonging, a connection between us as parents and kids. I also love family dinner (usually on a Sunday night) and watching Death in Paradise, Race Across The World or Clarkson’s Farm together.

The activity is kind of irrelevant for me, it’s more about us all being, for a little while, in the same room, doing something stress-free and ordinary. When they were little and the necessity of rituals like bath time, bed time, getting ready for school dominated our lives. But these daily rituals drop of as everyone gets older, and in those moment it is possible for connections to weaken: this is unhelpful for developing minds.

When I wrote my book “Mum, what’s wrong with you; 101 things only the mothers of teenage girls know” I found that my addiction to these rituals (which my teens some times ridicule or resist) is a significant parenting win on the psychological front. I was accidentally parenting like a pro without knowing it.

Experts in family and teen mental health told me that cultivating or creating small rituals encourages connection and even the lightest of connections can make an adolescent feel safer, loved and listened to during what is may occasionally be a troublesome time.

Here’s how it works and some rituals you can try if you feel you have lost the connection, remember it is never too late to rebuild lost connections with teens or your young people living at home.

For more simple panic free ideas on parenting teens and young adults don’t forget I have a library of video interviews with experts for you to watch - ParentPod videos