Stuck on personal projects

A few years ago, I was invited to give a talk by my friends at NotReal, and I wanted to use the opportunity to do a big self-reflection on my career, my achievements and, more in general, if I was happy with my work.

Well, after a few hours spent at an outdoor table at a café, sipping coffee and orange juice, it turned out something initially unexpected: I was (and I still am) very frustrated to be stuck on personal projects.

Personal projects are the most important aspect of my art / design practice. I love to experiment, to get lost in new ways of drawing, to tell stories.

I’ve collected the thoughts from my sketchbook that are part of a mind map I created.

All this generates stress over stress.

And since work (normal work, the stuff that actually pays the bills) is a big source of stress, I didn’t want to add another reason for stress on top of that. The result: I'm stuck on something that should be flawless and natural.

All my sketches and ideas were always there, hidden in the pages of my sketchbook and in the darkest part of my mind.

One action that I cannot avoid is imagining. I’m an observer of this complex world, and my brain works on simplifying what I feel is interesting. Everything is stored somewhere in my memory, and it needs to be translated into something sooner or later.

Vomiting (what a harsh word to use, but it definitely gives the sense) is the very last phase of this unintentional process.

The most valuable thing that we have, besides commitment, is our time. We need to understand how to deal with that, how to treat it as a fundamental ally of our practice and at the same time consider it as an enemy.