This weekend’s New Moon in Gemini ushered in a season for being social and prioritizing friendships.
The thing is, friendships aren’t always easy. One of our most asked questions in the Constellation Lab Discord is about friendship breakups.
Friendship breakups can be harder than romantic breakups, partly because no one teaches us what to do with them.
Romantic heartbreak has a script. You cry, you process, you delete old photos, your friends check in, someone tells you that you deserve better. There are songs, movies, rituals, entire group chats dedicated to getting someone through the loss of a partner.
But losing a friend hits different. Especially when it is not just any friend, but a best friend. The person who knew every version of you before you became whoever you are now. The person who remembers your childhood bedroom, your first heartbreak, your worst haircut, your family lore, your old dreams, your embarrassing phases, the exact cadence of your chaos. The person you once assumed would be standing beside you for every major life milestone.
I had a best friend like that.
We met when we were in middle school, when friendship feels less like a relationship and more like a shared world. We spent every weekend together. We made plans for the lives we were going to have, the people we were going to marry, the houses we would live in next door to each other, our kids who would obviously become best friends too.
At that age, you don’t really imagine life interrupting the plan. You don’t yet know how many versions of yourself you are going to become. But, life happens.
We went to college in different states. We stayed close for a while, the way people did then, visiting when we could, sharing our new worlds through pictures and phone calls, keeping the thread alive. After college, we even lived together. On paper, we were still best friends.
But slowly, our lives started moving in different directions.
I became more career-driven and started working long hours. She was in a serious relationship and eventually moved to a new city with her boyfriend. I was dating new people, exploring my sexuality, and slowly realizing that the life I had imagined at 18 was not necessarily the life I wanted at 28.
Nothing happened all at once. There was no single dramatic betrayal. Just small shifts with new priorities, new friends, new cities, and new versions of ourselves that did not fit together as easily as the old ones had.
And that might be the hardest kind of friendship ending. The kind where you still love the person, but you can feel the closeness becoming harder to access. The kind where you are technically still in each other’s lives, still in the same group chats, still connected through mutual friends, but the core has changed.
Eventually, those tiny fractures compounded. We had a big fight, and after that, we were not best friends anymore. At least not in the way we had been.
The grief of that was real. It was also awkward. Friendship breakups do not just affect the two people inside them. They ripple through entire friend groups. They can make weddings, birthdays, group chats, and casual plans feel complicated.
There was a time when I thought I would be the maid of honor in her wedding. Years later, I wasn’t even in the wedding party. That hurt, not because she did anything wrong, but because it cemented the drift in the friendship.
But I also think friendships move in seasons.
Some friendships are meant to carry us through a specific version of ourselves. Some grow with us. Some fall away. Some leave and return in a different form. And some, if there is enough love and enough space, find their way back.
That is what happened with us. We did not become close again because we forced the friendship to look the way it used to. We became close again because life changed, we changed, and eventually there was room for a new version of the friendship to emerge.
Now, in our mid-30s, we have found our way back to each other. Not as the exact same best friends we were at 13 or 18 or 25, but as people who have known each other across many lives. And there is something beautiful about that too.
Because friendship breakups are not always clean endings. Sometimes they are transitions. Sometimes they are initiations. Sometimes they are the painful proof that a season of your life is over, even if the love is not.
And this is where astrology can be so clarifying.
Astrology helps us understand timing. It shows us when certain life themes are being activated, when old identities are being shed, when our relationships are being tested, and when the people who once fit perfectly into one chapter may not fit as easily into the next.
Friendships often change when we change. And astrologically, those changes are rarely random. They tend to correspond with major thresholds in our chart: adolescence into adulthood, early adulthood into self-definition, career shifts, Saturn returns, parenthood, identity changes, relocations, and the larger seasons that ask us to become someone new.
So let’s get into the astrology of friendship breakups: when they tend to happen, what they are trying to show you, and how to move through them without making yourself wrong for grieving something that mattered.
By expert astrologer, Michelle Grodnick
We dive deep into Saturn Returns in our Saturn Return Survival Guide, but around the ages of 27-32, the planet Saturn returns to the same sign it was in when you were born. This time is transformative for your friendships as you realize your old ways of doing things are no longer serving you.
You’re letting go of the old you, and this will naturally change the nature of your friendships. Maybe you decide to party less, complain less, or start meditating. You may completely change careers or move cities, causing your friendships to drift apart.
Sometimes, Saturn Returns are actually just moments of a ‘friendship pause’ while you figure out who you are as an individual outside of others’ opinions. Revisit friendships after your Saturn Return ends and see if they are worth rekindling.
Friendships drifting during your Saturn Return are due to your own identity growing & shifting. Be really clear about the people who support your growth and the people who do not. Focus on the people who do.
The 3rd, 7th, and 11th houses of your Natal Chart are the social houses. The 3rd house represents your oldest friendships since childhood. The 7th house is the house of relationships, and when it comes to friendships, it represents your best friend or business partner. The 11th house represents your community and larger group of friends.
When powerful planets like Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto transit these houses, you can expect certain kinds of friendship changes:
Mars transits (can last 2-7 months): Mars is a planet that cuts people out. It literally rules severing, so if Mars is going through a social house and you’re experiencing tension with a friend, the astrology may be asking you to cut them out. When this is the case, it’s important to approach the situation with kindness but also with strong boundaries. Harsh, but sometimes necessary.
Jupiter transits (last ~1 year): Jupiter is the planet of growth & expansion. In order for things to grow, sometimes we need to clear out space. So if you are experiencing friendship tension when Jupiter is involved, it’s asking you to shed friends that are taking up too much space in your life so that new, more aligned & supportive people can enter your life.
Saturn transits (last ~2.5 years): Saturn is the planet of commitment. When Saturn is moving through your social houses, it’s asking you: “Who are the people you actually want to commit to?” Sometimes the answers may shock you, and you may realize friendships aren’t serving you. With Saturn transits, this shift can feel quieter, and it may just be time to de-prioritize some people and prioritize others. Usually, the friendships that feel toxic or immature are let go during this time.
Uranus transits (last ~8 years, so these will be more activated when an inner planet or lunation aspects transiting Uranus): Uranus is the planet of change and disruption, so when it’s transiting the social houses, there may be an abrupt friendship shift that you weren’t expecting. Uranus also rules community, so you may be called to find your tribe. Because you may be exploring new communities and groups of people, other friendships may take a backseat. This is all about aligning with larger communities that share your ideals.
Pluto transits (last ~12-20 years, so these will be more activated when an inner planet or lunation aspects transiting Pluto): Pluto is the planet of transformation & destruction. These transits will highlight toxic friendships that feel like an unfair power dynamic. There may be fighting and manipulation. The key here is to dig deep within yourself and understand your shadows as it relates to the situation. A lot of healing can be done during these times as you realize ways in which you’ve contributed to toxic friendships.
Eclipses are karmic moments of change. They are a portal of transformation for the houses they are occurring in. Eclipse cycles will always affect 2 opposing houses in your chart at once, so when they are moving through your 7th house of relationships, they are also moving through your 1st house of identity. This highlights how the state of our relationships directly affects the state of our identity, and vice versa.
Eclipses will spend about 1.5 years occurring in the same houses of your chart. For example, if you’re a Virgo rising, the Eclipses have been going through your 1st and 7th houses since January 2025. If you’re a Leo rising, they’ll move into your 1st and 7th houses in August.
With eclipses in your 1st and 7th houses, you can expect changes in your friendships because YOU are doing a lot of change. You may realize there are certain friends who were unknowingly shaping your identity in a way that isn’t actually authentic to you, causing tension. With eclipses come growth & shedding, so there may be friends that fall by the wayside as you reveal hidden aspects of yourself.
The Air signs, aka Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius, are all very social and concerned with friendships. We’ll often find changes, shifts, and realizations around friendships occurring in the moments of New or Full Moons in these signs.
Gemini New/Full Moons will allow you to “say what you need to say,” giving you a moment to vocalize your needs and have a much-needed chat about what’s really going on. When you get real with your friends, there can be ruptures. After brushing things under the rug for so long, not everyone takes well to getting called out. As long as you lead with your heart in these conversations, you can’t be blamed for being honest.
Libra New/Full Moons will expose people-pleasing tendencies and when friendships are off-balance. You know the friends where you’re always the one putting in the work and never getting any support in return. These friendships are exposed by Libra, as Libra is led by fairness. These New/Full Moons will settle the score and likely expose where there is an absence of mutual respect in your friendships.
Aquarius New/Full Moons are all about community. You might find yourself in new groups of friends during these times and be more attracted to people who share the same ideals as you. Aquarius is also very morally-focused, so these moments can show you if there is an ideological difference between you and your friends that causes tension. The important thing in these moments is for you to follow your own authenticity, not just follow what others are doing. It’s a moment to get real about what’s important to you, and this will often impact your friendships that aren’t aligned with your priorities.
Every week, we spotlight incredible spiritual practitioners, and we’re so excited to introduce you to intuitive Oracle and spiritual life coach, LaSonya Abdallah!
Lora: Tell us a bit about you and your practice.
LaSonya: I’m LaSonya Abdallah, also known as The Goddess Key. I’m a spiritual coach, oracle guide, intuitive mentor, and creator of the Inner Codes Oracle System.
My work focuses on helping people explore the deeper patterns operating within their subconscious mind. Through oracle guidance, intuitive insight, spiritual coaching, and self-reflection practices, I help people uncover hidden beliefs, emotional patterns, and inner narratives that may be influencing their lives.
Rather than focusing on prediction, I use divination as a tool for self-awareness, empowerment, and personal transformation. My goal is to help people reconnect with their inner wisdom, strengthen their intuition, and develop a deeper relationship with themselves.
Lora: What moment or realization made astrology and/or tarot “click” for you in a real, lived way?
LaSonya: For me, astrology and tarot truly clicked when I began studying my own natal chart and working closely with a Yoruba chief and priestess who introduced me to various divination systems and spiritual traditions.
As I immersed myself in books, teachings, and personal practice, I began to recognize that many spiritual systems are ultimately pointing toward the same universal truths. While they may use different symbols, languages, and frameworks, they all offer ways of understanding ourselves, our life experiences, and our connection to something greater than ourselves.
What resonated most deeply was realizing that these systems are, in many ways, teaching us the language of the universe and the subconscious mind. They provide a symbolic framework that helps bring hidden patterns, inner wisdom, and deeper self-awareness into conscious view. That realization transformed these tools from something interesting to study into powerful instruments for personal growth, reflection, and spiritual understanding.
Lora: What’s something most people misunderstand about astrology that you’re always gently correcting?
LaSonya: Most people think astrology is about traits — “I’m a Leo, so I’m dramatic.” I’m always gently reminding them that astrology is about context and timing.
It’s not just what you are. It’s when things activate, which house a planet rules, and how different parts of your chart talk to each other.
Astrology isn’t fatalistic, and it’s not random. It’s a symbolic clock. When you understand the structure, you understand the season you’re in.
Lora: What’s a recurring life theme you see in your readings right now (love, career pivots, endings, rebirth, boundaries), and how do you help people work with it instead of resisting it?
LaSonya: A recurring theme I’ve seen in my readings over the past several months is around control, health, and the tension between perfectionism and surrender, especially among Virgo rising or Virgo-heavy clients.
This aligns with the South Node moving through Virgo and the North Node in Pisces. Many of these clients are being asked to release hyper-control, over-analysis, and the constant need to optimize themselves. I’ve noticed a strong connection between their mental stress and physical health symptoms, which makes sense given Virgo’s association with the body and Mercury’s link to the nervous system.
Rather than encouraging them to “fix” themselves harder, I help them recognize the season they’re in. The nodal axis suggests a shift from micromanagement toward trust, from self-critique toward self-compassion. That doesn’t mean abandoning discernment; it means softening the grip.
In practice, this often looks like helping clients build boundaries around their productivity, reduce mental overexertion, and lean into Piscean themes: rest, creativity, spirituality, emotional processing, or simply allowing life to unfold without constant correction.
When they stop resisting the transition and work with it instead of against it, I often see a noticeable shift, not just in mindset, but in overall well-being.
Lora: When someone comes to you feeling stuck, what part of the chart do you look at first and why?
LaSonya: When someone comes to me feeling stuck, I always begin with the natal chart. I read whole sign houses, so I’m immediately orienting myself around the structure of the chart, what each house represents, and which planets rule them.
From there, I look at timing. I pay close attention to the nodal axis and whether it’s activating one of the angles (1st, 4th, 7th, or 10th houses), since those periods often correspond with identity shifts, relationship turning points, relocations, or career pivots. I’ll also examine what Saturn, Pluto, and Uranus are doing, especially if they’re making aspects to the Moon or Venus. In my experience, the Moon is particularly sensitive; when it’s under pressure, people feel it in a very lived way.
That said, I don’t treat astrology as something to impose on a client. I use it as a framework for conversation. I ask questions. I listen. Astrology shows the season, but the client tells me how it’s manifesting. From there, we work toward alignment rather than resistance, identifying what the chart is asking to mature, release, or restructure.
Feeling “stuck” is often a timing story, not a personal failure.
Lora hosts free wellness, spirituality, and “woo woo” events IRL and virtually every month. Here’s a roundup of some upcoming events- we hope to see you there!
June 25th: We’re hosting a live podcast recording/ discussion in NYC with Lora’s Head of Astrology, Michelle Grodnick, and Ghosted by Grief host Emma Zeiger. Together, they’ll explore a question that feels both cosmic and deeply personal: What if astrology is inherited? Through a conversation about family patterns, ancestral connections, grief, and memory, they’ll examine how astrology can offer a language for understanding the people who shape us, and the threads that continue to connect us across generations. RSVP here!
We’re wrapping up the alpha cohort of the Lora iOS TestFlight, and over the past three weeks, our early users have helped us make Lora smarter, more personal, and more magical.
Next week, we’re opening up our beta program to the next 1,000 users!
Lora is a new astrology and self-discovery app built to help you understand yourself, your relationships, and the timing of your life in a more personal way. Before we launch publicly, we’re looking for early users who want to be part of shaping what Lora becomes.
As a beta tester, you’ll get early access to new features, share feedback directly with our team, and use Lora every day to learn more about yourself, your chart, your relationships, and what’s unfolding in your life.
If you’re interested in being one of the first users of Lora, fill out this form here, and we will be in touch ASAP!
Here’s what some of our amazing beta testers are saying so far:
And if you’re new to our little Lora universe, a few months ago, we started offering free birth chart readings daily in our Discord, The Constellation Lab. A few months later, this Discord has grown to 9k+ people chatting astrology, tarot, spirituality, and beyond every day!
In our Discord, members are getting their birth charts read, their tarot/oracle cards pulled, and advice from psychics, spiritual practitioners, Reiki healers, and beyond!
If you’re a little (or a lot) bit woo woo like us, come hang out in our Discord and get your first free birth chart reading!
Get a Free Birth Chart Reading 🪐
See you next week, and until then, stay spiritual 🪐
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