Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

You’ve been with me for as long as I can remember.

I just didn’t know your name until I got older.

You caused the nail biting. The stomach aches. The hair twirling.The mind that never stopped running. The sleepless nights. You were rehearsing conversations before I ever had them. To imagine the worst case scenario before life had the chance to surprise me.

Sometimes you even convince me that if I’m not worrying… then I’m not paying attention.

You taught me:

To stay alert.

To always have an exit plan.

To stay in control.

Then I got older. And realized not everyone thinks this way…

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I thought you were keeping me safe. Maybe, in some ways, you are.

Lately however, you’ve been stealing more than you’ve been protecting.

You’ve stolen mornings that could have been peaceful. You’ve stolen moments with my kids because I was already three steps ahead. Anxiously Overthinking life. And all the “What ifs”

Yes, you got me through some of the hardest parts of my childhood. You were there when I was just a little girl.

You made me feel safe.

You protected that little girl when she needed it most.

And for that, I’m grateful.

But she’s not little anymore. And I have children of my own now. I want my children to see a strong, confident and present mom. A mom who is not consumed by her anxiety, a mom who is present.

With love,

Logan

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