05-25: but just give it time

An abundance of orange punctuates the month of May in my photo gallery.

Sometimes almost hidden — like these sneaky wiggly orange lines connecting the orange wall to the underside of these cobalt blue numbers!

How auspicious, to see so much of my favourite colour out in the world right as the days start to stretch out longer, right as the sun begins to shine a little warmer.

Bright, promising, hopeful omens surround me this month, as I luxuriate in my favourite seasonal popsicle — the golden mango segment of this tri-flavoured treat so intensely warm it’s almost orange —

— as I take in this field of breathtaking tulips, noticing a bright orange band of blooms blending in perfectly with my love’s hat (which used to be my hat, at one point) —

— as I experience my closest great aunt and uncle’s golden (50th!!!!!) wedding anniversary! What a joy and a privilege to witness a love so enduring as theirs. What a special reminder that any time spent in love could never be time wasted.

I’ve always felt that orange is a bubbly love, the kind that puts a skip in your step. The extra sparkle that makes your stomach flutter with butterflies when you catch a glimpse of the one(s) you love doing something charming when they think you’re not paying attention. Compounding over time, to me, these tiny glimmers are what makes love endure.

I’ve been (re)training myself to pay more attention, even if it takes extra time. Being in school again and working a bunch this month left my brain fried and frazzled. After all the busyness of the month came to a close, I indulged myself in all the time I could take up for myself. I wait at the bus stop even if the next one isn’t coming for 11 more minutes, instead of calling a rideshare. I listen to the sounds around me, instead of blasting music on my earbuds (although admittedly, that’s mostly in an effort to save my dying battery). I make time to draw again.

I took the extra time to walk the scenic route to ground myself in between mildly-anxious trains of thought, and was met by these beautifully strange blooms that burst out in an orange that perfectly matched the orange of my outfit, down to the tiny fuchsia-violet dots that complemented my shoes.

I’ve been acquainting myself with nature’s timing, familiarizing myself with the seasonality of the plants that grow around me, reminding myself that everything is cyclical, and connected.

I couldn’t stop thinking about these blue-violet irises at a flower shop by Kits Beach, and eventually had to return a week after and treat myself to colours that will brighten up my living space.

On the day I got them, I was wearing my orange pants — yes, the same one I wore in the photo above this one — which made the hue of the irises leap out even more!

This summer, I’m making it a point to truly treat myself.

Treat myself to a fully loaded hotdog when I’m feeling snacky, of course —

— but mostly, I want to really, truly, fully revel in this summer.

I want to luxuriate in the warm weather, share my whole heart with my loved ones, ask for what I need and want without fear of recourse, create silly art, and really fucking delight in the time I have, you know?

I want to — I’m going to — take in all of these doodled bricks as though I’m in an art museum.

overheard in front of Popeye’s
I just feel the music sometimes you just feel the music and you go like t h i s

let it grow, ok?

thank you! thank you! thank you!