Reading · The Takeaway with Liz Moody

Hi friend!

Welcome back to Ask Liz, the weekly column where I answer your most pressing life questions—the ones you’d ask your most knowledgeable friend if she happened to have done a deep dive on literally everything.

Every week, I go deep on one real question submitted by YOU and provide science-backed and expert-informed solutions. These posts are free for everyone, but paid subscribers get access to our full archive plus the option to submit a question directly to me. Not a paid subscriber yet?

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If you’re already part of the fam, you can scroll down to the bottom of this post and submit your question there. Now, let’s get into today’s question.

Dear Liz,

I keep job-hopping every year or year-and-a-half. When I leave one job for a new one, it always sounds new, different, and exciting, and like something I’d want to stay in for a while. But then I always find an issue that makes me unhappy. Sometimes it’s my boss, or the work is too boring, or the commute is too long. It just feels like I’m always unhappy having a corporate job! Ideally, I’d like a remote job that pays well and doesn’t suck the life out of me, but maybe I’m romanticizing that.

Now, when I interview, potential employers have started flagging that I never stay very long at a job…so it’s definitely becoming a problem. How do I figure out what will actually make me happy?

— A Relentlessly Miserable Employee

Hey ARME,

First, congratulations: It sounds to me like you are highly employable! Truly, the fact that you even can job hop that frequently means you give a great interview and bring valuable skills to the table. That’s a great starting point!

Now, let’s talk about your satisfaction issue. I can relate to you on that topic, too: In my 20s, my husband Zack was basically Angelica Schuyler to me about my lack of satisfaction, like I was Alexander Hamilton (if you know, you know; if you don’t, you can listen here). Every job felt like it had something wrong with it, and then I eventually left corporate America to try to write a novel, which led to daily panic attacks and agoraphobia (my full anxiety story is here, if you’d like to learn more).

Fast forward 10 years, and I’m happy to report that I’m now very satisfied in my career—but it took a lot of hard thinking, strategizing, and some wrong turns (obviously). But enough about me. What can you do to get there?

I’m finally satisfied…but it wasn’t always that way!

When I had career coach Amina AlTai on my podcast, she flagged that most of us aren’t in “the wrong job” nor are we “the wrong person for the job.” The real issue is a misalignment, or round peg, square hole-type situation.

According to Amina’s framework, you need five specific things lined up to feel satisfied at work:

Your zone of genius: Are you doing stuff you’re innately good at for at least some of your job?
Your values: Does the work you do reflect your values?
The impact you want: Are you making an impact in the way you want to? (Your community, the world, your family—whatever that means to you?
Your needs: Are you making enough money to support the lifestyle you want to live? Do you have adequate PTO and work/life balance?
Contentment: Are you white-knuckling it most of the time, or do you feel mostly happy?

Her rule of thumb is that you want to be hitting at least 60% in each category. If you dip much below that (into 50/50 or 40/60), it starts eroding your wellbeing.

Here’s how I think this applies to your situation in particular: Each time you’ve left a job, it seems like it’s been for a different reason. A bad boss, a long commute, “boring” work. What I think this means is that you haven’t yet identified exactly what you do and don’t want from a job.

Spending some time journaling using Amina’s framework—or even talking to a career coach about it—can help you get a better picture of exactly what to look for in a job, and at what point your expectations are unrealistic. For example, there’s always going to be some boring work in a job—that’s life!

If you want to stop job-hopping, sit down and get as clear as possible before your next interview. When I talked to career expert and NYU professor Suzy Welch on my podcast, she told me that once you actually identify your values and look at the real data, “the decision makes itself.” Most of us skip the data-gathering and simply react to the bad boss or the tedious task. The data-gathering is crucial!

Her suggestion is a decision-making tool called 10-10-10: before you take a new job or leave your current one, ask what the consequences will be. How will this impact the next 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years? It’s a simple mindset shift, but it forces you to separate “this will feel good tomorrow” from “this will actually serve the life I’m trying to build.”

She also talks about ranking your values and noticing where they conflict. So if flexibility is your #1 value but ambition and traditional career climbing are also high on your list, there’s a bit of a contradiction there. So the remote job you’re fantasizing about might not be 100% realistic if you also want to climb to the tippy top of the corporate ladder. Try to decide what you are willing and aren’t willing to compromise on before switching jobs.

You might just need a really good journaling session.

Whew, that was a lot! Here’s a little checklist to get you started:

Write down your top 5 values and rank them (not what you think they should be, what they actually are)
Separate needs (salary minimum, remote work) from zone of genius (the thing you’re amazing at), from passion (the thing that sounds exciting right now).
In interviews, ask questions about your specific dealbreakers. For example, will you be expected to answer emails after hours? If the answer is yes, and that’s a dealbreaker, then this isn’t the job for you.
Run a real 10-10-10 before accepting anything.

As I said before, I’m impressed by just how employable you are. Everyone wants to hire you! I think all you need now is a stronger understanding of exactly what you do and don’t want. With these tips, you’re well on your way. Good luck!

Now I want to hear from the rest of you: Have you ever taken a job that sounded great on paper but turned out to be totally wrong for you?

"I keep job hopping and I'm worried the problem is me"

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