For the Record

Oral history is important. Families have always passed their stories from one generation to the next, keeping memories alive simply by retelling them.

But as anyone who has ever played the telephone game knows, stories have a way of changing as they make their way down the line.

Details get lost. Timelines shift. Descriptions vary depending on who is doing the describing. And some witnesses (even one’s own children) insist on correcting perfectly reasonable versions of events with what they call “the facts”.

This is why it is so important to document your family history.

Take, for example, the time I saved my children from being attacked by a giant lizard from outer space.

I remember the incident clearly.

Our cat came into the house carrying an unknown, hideous creature in her mouth. I responded as any calm and capable mother would and took control of the situation. (There may have been some screaming, but that’s the only part of this story that’s a little fuzzy.)

The unwelcome visitor escaped.

What followed was slightly chaotic and involved brooms, multiple pairs of gloves, and brave attempts to protect my children from this terrifying reptilian invader.

Eventually, the creature was captured and sent back to his home planet. We were safe and peace returned.

Fortunately, I had the foresight to recognize that this was a moment in our family history worth preserving. So I wrote it all down.

And because I did, future generations will know exactly what happened that day.

For some reason, my children tell a different story. In their version, the reptile is much smaller. They claim it was an ordinary lizard, not even extraterrestrial, and never describe my actions as heroic.

This is the problem with oral history.

Without a written record, interpretations vary. Eyewitnesses become unreliable. Children grow into adults with opinions. Before you know it, a mother’s daring rescue is reduced to “the time the cat brought a little lizard inside and Mom freaked out.”

Thankfully, my book tells the truth.

Well, my version of it anyway.

Not every family story is sensational. Family history isn’t only about wartime bravery, immigration, great hardship, or extraordinary achievement. Sometimes it’s the story of a recipe made every Christmas, a phrase someone always used, the dog who never left your side, or the time a small lizard upended a completely normal day.

Those stories matter, too.

They remind us how we lived and loved together. What made us laugh. What made us cry and how we took care of each other. The things we teased one another about then and still tease each other about now.

They tell us things about a family that dates and names on a family tree never could.

So write your family stories down. Maybe in the form of a journal entry or letter. Maybe just a few sentences on the back of a photo. But write them down.

And if there happens to be some disagreement about exactly what occurred, all the more reason to make sure you write your version before your children write theirs.

With every good wish,

Lisa