Please Don’t Take My Man

“Umukobwa mwiza w’igikara, uteye neza kandi witonda,” he used to say. A beautiful dark-skinned girl, nicely curved, with a kind heart.

Welcome to day five of my little challenge: five days of writing, five random thoughts straight from my mind to yours. We made it. The other four pieces are over on my personal page, but this one had to be here because my boss generously let me share one of the five stories with you all. I figured I’d save the best for last. So, grab your tea. Let’s finish this together.

And all I really was, was dark-skinned… not particularly curvy, but kind. Then he added something else to the list once: “someone who gives me peace.” And I did. I truly did. I swallowed my pride, put the drama aside, softened myself in every way I could just to make sure that man felt peace whenever he was with me.

But then you came along. And like a maths fraction, he canceled out the common denominator. Because you were kind too, except you were also dark-skinned and beautifully curved. So naturally, you ranked higher. And just like that, you took my man.

When I was younger, I used to think Dolly Parton sounded desperate in Jolene. I heard a woman begging another woman not to take her man, and I could never understand it until now. With all the qualities you have, you could get any man in the world. Truly. So why him?

I’ve known him forever. We grew up together. I helped him pull out a loose tooth when we were seven. He learned how to braid cornrows with my hair when we were ten. He was there when I got my first period at fourteen. We lost our virginity to each other at eighteen.

Please, darling. Please. If we put our egos aside for a second, I’m sure you could find someone better. Not him.

He snores in his sleep. You will not get used to it. He eats cereal without milk and mixes avocado with rice before adding beans like that is somehow normal behavior. He refuses to give me head with the lights on because he thinks I’ll stare at his bald spot. He drinks his coffee black with no sugar, and the coffee stains his teeth a little. None of that is worthy of someone as beautiful as you.

And yes, maybe I’m lying now. Maybe I’m trying to make him sound smaller so you can leave him alone. But the truth is, I know every strange thing about him because I stayed long enough to learn them. Long enough to love them.

So if you ever do take him from me, at least understand that you are not taking a man from someone who barely knew him. You are taking home from the person who built her whole life around it.

That’s it for day five, and for this little series. If you enjoyed this piece, I’d love for you to check out the other stories on this publication. And if you’d like to keep reading my work, please, please, please subscribe to my page.

Alright, lovelies. Bye.