Pen

Intro
Some days the words pour out like they’ve been waiting for me. Other days, I sit with a pen in my hand and feel nothing but silence. Not because God is absent, but because He’s inviting me to slow down, breathe, and return to Him before I return to the page. This piece came out of one of those quiet, frustrating moments — the kind where you wonder if you’ve lost your voice, only to realize God is teaching you how to listen again.

The pen hit the paper.
I waited for words to fly off and fill the page.
Five minutes passed. Then ten. Then fifteen.
Still nothing.

I kept waiting for something magical to happen.
Instead, I started to pace.
Nerves rising. Nails between my teeth.
The words just wouldn’t come.
What do I do now?

Then the daydreaming started —
and I knew I was in trouble.
How do I bring myself back?
Had I drifted too far?

I took a deep breath.
Then another.
Suddenly I was gasping for air.
Panic setting in.
I had to get back.
I was getting tired.
My eyes began to close.

I just knew I was a goner.

Still, I dragged the pen across the page once more,
hoping for something magnificent, something inspiring
to rise up and meet me.
But nothing came. Only emptiness.

I could hear the air whistle through my ears.
Could this really be happening?
My pen and paper had become strangers.
It had been so long since the last time they spoke.
They used to be such good friends.

Now they blamed me for the distance.
They were taking it out on me.
I tried to break through to them —
but they weren’t having it.

Maybe the words weren’t gone — maybe they were waiting for me to return.

There are moments in the creative process when the silence feels heavy — when the words won’t come, and doubt starts whispering louder than truth. But even in those moments, God is near. Sometimes He allows the pause so we can remember that inspiration isn’t something we force; it’s something we receive. The blank page isn’t a sign of failure. It’s an invitation to return to Him, to breathe, to be still, and to trust that what He placed inside us will rise again in its time.

The words always come back, not because we chase them, but because God delivers them — He gives them freely when we slow down long enough to listen.