Photo by Random Institute on Unsplash
My suitcases were filled to the brim with things I imagined professional people wear to work in New York City in 2001: platform shoes, bootcut dress pants, and an ill-fitting skirt suit from Express.
I popped into my local grocery store to grab some snacks for the Metro-North train, which would deliver me to me new post-college adult life. Suddenly, my tiny purse rang. I ran outside to grab the call because it seemed rude to speak on the phone next to the bananas, oh how things have changed and not for the better.
The only people who had my number were my new employer, my parents, and my soon-to-be roommate so I knew it had to be important. I yanked up the antennae on my Nokia cell phone, which I’d stolen from mother months earlier to job search in the city.
This is what I heard. The caller said something like sorry, we can’t afford to hire you even though I’d signed a contract, gotten fingerprinted, and was told to start my new full-time job tutoring children with learning disabilities on Monday.
She felt bad, I felt worse.
They had lost too many clients, she said to fear: four weeks after 9/11 people were scared to bring their children into lower Manhattan. Understandably so, I felt horrible for them, for me, for the city, the world.
I hung up the phone and shoved it into my next to a cashier’s check for the first month’s rent and security on an apartment that I now could not afford. My childhood home with my cozy bedroom was a three minute drive away. In the other direction, a 22 minute drive to the train station to NYC / the unknown / my unemployed future.
I’ve been thinking lately about resilience as I read 1,000 headlines a day about how AI is taking jobs, killing professions, strangling the creative class, replacing knowledge workers, turning our headshots into Mar-a-lago face.
The thing is when we are faced with adversity, trauma, or stress we cannot think straight. Our brains shift into survival mode. I wondered…
Resilience is not a fixed trait, it’s a mix of thoughts and behaviors that we can cultivate over time.
Resilience is a mash up of 4 Core Concepts:
Connection — Build relationships with empathetic and understanding people. Accept help and support from people who care about you.
Wellness — Take care of your body through exercise, sleep, nutrition, and stress management. Practicing self-care helps your mind and body adapt to stress.
Healthy thinking — Notice negative thoughts and try to reframe situations in a more balanced way. Keep things in perspective and focus on what you can control.
Meaning — Find purpose through goals, values, helping others, or activities that matter to you. Meaning can help people move through difficult experiences with greater resilience.
On that fall afternoon in October 2001, I got on that train. Dragged my suitcase up the stairs to my new apartment. Called a temp agency the next day. Traded in that skirt suit for jeans and sneakers.
I don’t know what motivated me to take that risk other than I had a goal: Live in New York City. That was it. Also, I was young and naive, which helped. I had help from friends and family as I found my way and I figured out a life here that I’m still figuring out in 2026.
25 years later, I find myself needing to tap into my youthful resilience. I’ve navigated several career shifts: from teacher, to program manager, to non-profit fundraiser and event planner, to leadership development consultant, plus side hustles of writing and performing comedy.
Fostering resilience is hard. We need it when we’re burnt out, isolated, fearing more failure, avoiding risks, not listening to one another, and not asking for help. My clients who are managers know this and feel this with themselves and within their teams.
How might you flex those muscles before you need to?
Join me and Nicole Lenzen as we lead a short 60 min workshop called Speak with Impact, as part of our Women’s Resilience Lab Series.
Thursday May 28th at 11:30am ET. Register here, Free and open to all.
If you’d like some other ideas, let’s find a time to talk.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.