Is My Husband Watching The World Cup or Possessed By a Demon?

1. Yells Goooooooooooooool in a tongue I don’t understand

2. Won’t look me directly in the eye, unless I stand in front of the TV

3. Makes sudden spastic movements and outbursts with his arms

4. Sings national anthems in tongues I don’t understand

5. Only eats chips

6. Refuses to change out of his France jersey

7. Mumbles under his breath about braces, hat tricks, and nutmegs

8. Growls at me when I ask what he wants for dinner

9. Refuses to go outside

10. Enters a trance for 90 minutes or more depending on stoppage time

11. Curses, screams and jumps up and down on our couch

12. He’s been in this state for five weeks

Both: 2,3,4,6,7,8,9,10,11,12

World Cup: 5