Where there is no vision, the people perish. – Proverbs 29:18
The American dream is not what we think. For years, my mother commented on how the ‘American dream’ had actually become the ‘American nightmare.’ What she was perceiving was a shift in accessibility to the advantages gained by succeeding within capitalist America. The evidence, as demonstrated by the erosion of education, the divisiveness, the cult of personality, and the intensifying income disparity, all strengthen my mother’s argument. But, as I’ve spent the last 10 months living in the United Kingdom, I’ve been reflecting on what the American dream actually is . . . and it’s very much still alive, if much more subtle and profound.
In Jacob Needleman’s book, The American Soul: Rediscovering the Wisdom of the Founders, Needleman discusses the promise of America: the possibility of inner freedom. The American spirit is based on a vision of what humanity can become. The Founding Fathers took their quest for a new nation straight from the principles of the Enlightenment, whether they were living those truths or not (we can easily argue they fell far short of embodying the ideals that informed their vision, slavery and the slaughter of the indigenous cultures being the prominent examples). America is a nation formed on the philosophical ideals of self-actualization through freedom, independent thinking, moral conscience, justice, innovation, and personal growth. That ultimately, by creating the structures and environment in which its citizens can embody their inner wisdom, a nation will coalesce for the collective good. Yes, we can argue all the ways America has not realized its vision . . . yet.
I say yet, because as I’ve been living in the UK, I’m struck by what’s still possible and all the ways that America may be speeding towards a reckoning with its actualization, as the Founders envisioned it. The United Kingdom isn’t that far removed from America, after all those Founders came from somewhere. I thought when I moved to England that I would feel a sort of homecoming: I’m more than 93% Anglo-Saxon and I lived in London as a child. I’ve traced my heritage through the UK back past 1000 AD, so I know my roots are here. But, my psyche and my heart, align with America . . .
The first thing I noticed about the United Kingdom is how regulated and restrictive so many aspects of life here are; I’ve chafed against this reality relentlessly. A British friend of mine refers to the United Kingdom as stubbornly hidebound, and until I’d lived it firsthand, I wouldn’t have believed it. I adamantly refuse to oblige what I see as not only a collective scarcity mindset, but one that’s downright penny-pinching, I’ve grown increasingly frustrated with the almost consistently poor customer service, and then there’s the toilet paper . . .
Toilet paper might seem like a strange topic given the serious nature of this discussion, but I’ve come to view the UK’s toilet paper as a symbol of a larger issue: good enough. Bear with me. If I get on a plane and fly 6 hours back to New York City, the first thing I notice is how much softer the toilet paper is. This isn’t an exaggeration . . . America boasts Charmin, Cottonelle, and Quilted Northern just to name a few, and every single one of those brands is noticeably softer than the United Kingdom’s softest toilet paper, by quite a big margin. (I know, because I’ve had 10 months to brand test.) At first, it was a head-scratcher to me why the toilet paper isn’t better. Surely people from the UK can get together with those overseas who’ve innovated the luxurious softness the Americans enjoy; a plane ride seems like a small impediment to a better product. But as the months have passed and I’ve reflected on national identity, I’ve realized that the United Kingdom must take a sort of perverse pride in a measure of personal suffering or in my mind, its collective agreement to settle for good enough.
The American spirit doesn’t settle for good enough. It’s the quest for better, more satisfying and ultimately, more expansive options that’s at the heart of the American spirit. It’s easy to say this spirit is flagging or even in decline when seen from socioeconomic and geopolitical vantage points. America is in a state of deep distress and many of its systems are stressed and collapsing. America – as a nation – is moving through a dark night of the soul. Just like an individual can face unprecedented challenges that test beliefs, values, and the spirit itself, so too can a nation experience the kinds of realizations that test its ability to breakdown or breakthrough.
The outcome is wholly dependent on how America confronts the shadow within that is now glaringly obvious not only to the world, but to Americans who thought the nation was free from the kinds of amoral choices that should never be at the heart of its governance. The power structures are corrupt and must be reinvented, but first America must take ownership of the dark places within that still need awareness and integration. We’ve all been complicit in our agreement to believe only the best of American ideals, without owning and being accountable as a nation for a dark past, that is now playing out in new iterations.
The Enlightenment ideals may feel farther away than ever, but it’s this precise moment in America’s history where it’s closer than ever to becoming a nation that can embody actualization on a national scale, because the illusion is shattering, truth is no longer fleeting, and collective memory is penetrating and inhabiting its citizens in uncomfortable ways. What are the conditions under which we access the fullest expression of ourselves? The extremes now playing out on the collective level serve to propel people into the kinds of disorienting dilemmas that require conscious processing to synthesize and transcend. When Americans start to take responsibility for how the nation is a reflection of those places within ourselves that have yet to be acknowledged and integrated, the nation’s citizens will create a movement for a collective healing and breakthrough that will transform everything. It’s always darkest before the dawn. The question is, how dark will it need to get before the critical tipping point of awakening occurs? The next few years will be critical.
Facing the truth of ourselves with grace is the hardest – most essential – lesson in personal growth. But when a nation must do the same, well it’s almost unprecedented in history. Again, I draw on my own experience here: I was a child of apartheid South Africa. Apartheid was one of the most egregious systems to infect a nation. It was the kind of corrupt system that oppresses everyone, not just the oppressed, because it’s a system based on control through fear; it festers and corrodes the soul of a nation. It was the reason my family immigrated, first to England and then, to America. My South African origins are never far from my mind, most especially as my mother started seeing – and raising alarm bells – about the rise of parallels in America to what she lived through in SA. I’ve been watching closely and there’s no guarantee America will shift directions with as much grace as South Africa managed when apartheid ended in 1994. SA began a collective process to overcome its horrific history and grieve as a nation. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission afforded South Africa a way forward through restorative justice that brought SA’s shadow fully into the light. It was flawed, but it helped shift collective trauma in ways that gave South Africa permission to become a new kind of nation. America could take inspiration from this framework when the time comes.
I didn’t move to England to escape what’s happening in America, although being out of the chaos has been a pleasant byproduct. Although, my heart breaks daily over what I’m witnessing from afar. But, when I was 18 years old, I chose America and I still do; I’ve lived alternatives and since I’m someone deeply committed to self-actualization, not just personally but collectively, I want nothing more than to witness an entire nation become a shining example of what’s possible. America, please don’t take the ideals of the nation for granted. It’s incumbent upon all of us as citizens, to protect and fulfill the promise of the American dream. I specialize in shadow integration work and from my perspective overseas, my work is needed at home more than ever. The longer I’m in the United Kingdom, the more urgently I feel the need to be a part of helping America fulfill its promise as a nation . . . it can still become the land of the (inwardly) free and the home of the (morally) brave.
It’s my purpose and joy to help you align with your purpose and joy! 💫 If you need support, please reach out. Our planet is undergoing a transformation that is touching every aspect of life, so this is the time to lean in to those relationships that bolster us, those activities that bring us joy, and the self-care that helps us thrive even when it feels impossible. We change ourselves, we change the paradigm.
With love from my whole being,
Lisa 💋❤️
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