A Short List Of Things Bringing Joie

As I write this, it is Tuesday and I am sitting on the balcony of our Hotel room trying to finish this post whilst eating an apple and watching some unsuspecting tourists in life jackets with a death wish hanging on for dear life to a large round yellow inflatable being pulled around the cove at top speed by a man in a speedboat. As I watch, they have already all fallen off twice and I would put money on the fact that they’ve already all got carpet burns and are wishing they’d never started. The last time I went on one of these was about ten years ago with both Ella and Max and I can remember throwing my body on top of them to stop them from hurtling into the depths every time we went around a corner. I ended up with raw skin, a bikini top and bottoms asunder and the knowledge that I would rather cut off my own head with a rusty saw than ever get on one of these again. My kids have already suggested I go on with them this week, at which point I reminded them I am FIFTY FIVE FFS and my inflatable days are categorically over, not least because the impact of the water might dislocate my filler.

Anyway, I might not be here for inflatable carpets but I am certainly here for the nice Hotel rib boat that we are about to board in an hour which will take us around to Spinalonga whilst serving us champagne and (as quoted from the brochure) healthy snacks before having a swim in an isolated cove at sunset. THIS is the reason why I come on holiday, not to be battered to within an inch of my life by a speed boat driver with selective hearing who refuses to acknowledge when you ask him to go slower. I am also very glad that we are in a Hotel that has a fitness centre where they run classes and not one where they prowl the sun loungers with clipboards whilst you’re trying to read your book in order to find susceptible people to bully for water aerobics or volleyball at 11am every morning.

But enough of that and back to my List Of Joie and there is plenty to be joyous about, for sure. There’s a new (to me) series to binge, cheats dinner and an outrageously expensive but very nice dress as well as countless other lovely things. Here’s a little run down of what I’ve watched, bought, worn, read, eaten and lusted after in the last fortnight.

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