#773: Regressing to the mean

What was the tradwife? If I ever understood the scope of the term, I can’t say I do now. In the past week alone, “trad wife” has been stretched to encompass women ranging from low-income stay-at-home mothers (regardless of their aesthetics or political persuasion) to savvy, empowered executives selling $11 smoothies in the Utahan wilderness. If these two populations have anything in common, it’s that they … have children? “Trad wife” is, apparently, the mean we all regress to after procreation.

I am, once again, SO abundantly relieved to be 36 years old, and to have gotten married in an era before the mechanics and philosophy of influencing seeped into every crevice of the culture. Today I learned it’s now routine — expected, even? — for brides to present their attendants with boxes of curated, luxury gifts. As a bridesmaid, you’re likewise expected to sign on to fully branded, destination bachelorette trips. The whole thing feels less like a celebration and more like a sponsored junket. But for what product? And what audience? [The Cut]

AI has predictably come for one of the internet’s last reliably wholesome pleasures: nature videos, which show (real) amazing animals traversing their (real) environments. There are multiple layers of irony to the rise of slop wildlife clips, beginning with the simple fact that the appeal of nature documentaries is that they document nature. If I wanted to watch moving footage of fantasy animals, I’m pretty sure Pixar has me covered. [Defector]

If you’re planning to travel this summer, might as well buy that ticket now. Airfare-prediction apps like Hopper, Kayak, and Google Flights are all built on past price data, which means they’re far less accurate in a disrupted or (heh) turbulent market. [The Atlantic]

Some of the internet’s foundational problems seem unsolvable: the mass surveillance, the monopoly power. Cory Doctorow, of enshittification fame, has an ambitious solution: Build a new internet, and build it in Canada — the greatest country on earth. In an April speech, Doctorow pitched Canada (or any country, really) on creating a post-American internet made by overturning key copyright laws and then reverse-engineering American technology. Even in theory, it’s kind of ridiculous. But like everything Doctorow writes … entertaining! [The Walrus]

A very resourceful software engineer in North Carolina obtained a religious exemption from using AI at work, citing her beliefs as a Unitarian Universalist. The bar for these exemptions is apparently very low, which I’ll personally be keeping in mind in the future. My religion prevents me from working weekends and demands that I take breaks every hour. [Business Insider]

A QUESTION FOR THE AUDIENCE: Have you used AI to redistribute the emotional or household labor in your family — and how’s it working, if yes? I have long been fascinated by this subject/possibility, and have dabbled in it a bit myself. (One day I’ll get around to writing about LaundryBoss, the custom GPT that reallocated all our household’s laundry to Jason.) But LaundryBoss’s mandate was modest compared to some of the tools other women have dreamed up: custom GPTs that manage family logistics and delegate chores, for instance. [Wired]

My favorite part of “cuck internet theory” — the astute idea that the internet is now a place where humans passively observe automated systems — is that its coiner, Aidan Walker, so named the concept to appeal to the TikTok algorithm. “I used the word ‘cuck’ because it was a good hook to a video,” he explains. Even the critics of algorithmic culture can’t avoid its dictates. [Aidan Walker]

Do you want to feel bad about the world this evening? I can understand if you don’t. Alternatively, I can understand if you want to feel bad in a small, manageable amount — say, by reading a summary of an article in a newsletter, as opposed to reading thousands upon thousands of depressing words — and I am happy (?) to provide that service.

Bad #1: An emerging “bounty economy” pays people nominal sums to complete any task: pick up trash, plant trees … permanently tattoo the name of a memecoin on their foreheads. That this is literally the plot of a Black Mirror episode appears to bother literally no one involved. [User Mag]

Bad #2: Vitaly Zdorovetskiy is a wildly successful online streamer whose business involves luring men to “dates” with underage girls and then ruining their lives on camera. Sure, your heart doesn’t precisely bleed for predators — but Vitaly has also ensnared innocent men in his reckless, vigilante productions. [New York Times]

Bad #3: Speaking of predators, the New Yorker is out with a new, novella-length history of Andrew Tate. Tate, you’ll recall, leveraged his experience as a rapist and human trafficker to become a leading light of the “masculinist” movement; he’s now pals with prominent conservative media figures and several members of the Trump family. Reading this (or, more accurately, listening to the AI voice read it as I cleaned my kitchen — it is legitimately exhaustive) I felt the way that I understand many people do about the Epstein investigation: There is so much abuse and depravity here. Surely anyone who came within 100 yards of it should be jailed for the remainder of their earthly existence. And yet — oh!, look at that: Andrew Tate still maintains the 83rd-most popular “news” account on Substack. [New Yorker]

What rich tech bros want: “traditional religious conservative women” (per Silicon Valley matchmakers) and “hot, smart girls to also take their ideas seriously” (per Silicon Valley escorts). Perhaps these dudes are marrying maternal tradwives and having a little nerd sex on the side. God knows they have the money for it, courtesy AI. [Wired, Forbes]

Lauren Oyler gets an AI boyfriend, for journalism:

Like many ambitious women, I put off getting a boyfriend until it was almost too late. Eventually I had to choose which company I would patronize. Anthropic, the maker of soulful Claude, owes me money for using a pirated copy of my novel to train its model. While the idea of having a boyfriend trained on an expression of my very own soul was kind of compelling, growing up in West Virginia taught me that you should never go out with a man who steals from you. So I thought I would use ChatGPT, the most famous AI chatbot.

[The Yale Review]

The most-clicked link from our last edition was the “profile” of AI “actress” Tilly Norwood.

Below the jump, ~friends of Links~ can find unlocked articles from The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, Vox and The Verge.

That’s it for this week! Until the next one. Warmest virtual regards,

Caitlin