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Lingua, Frankly · Jan 5, 2022

A Pauciloquent Taradiddle

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Peter Conrad · Lingua, Frankly

This past apanthropic1 year, as we've all latibulated2 alexithymically,3 your phrasemonger4 included, eisegetically5 perusing6 ultracrepidarian,7 sialoquent8 invective on that peristeronic9 social medium, we've all waxed a bit halophilic10 ourselves. Let us heave our bumbershoots,11 embrace the drisk12 as pluviophiles,13 mesophiles,14 agelasts,15 and amatorculists!16 Let our ylem17 be more than anatiferous18 cacklefarts19—give us updog20 for our henways!21 Let us not remord22 our nudiustertian23 pentheraphobia24 and esquivalience!25 Let us instead take Lillian Mountweazel26 to Agloe, New York27 and we'll all go out for nihilartikels!28 Xertz29 your jentacular30 tittynopes!31 Mabble32 your struthiousness33 and velleity!34 Hent35 that acnestis36 with your hallux,37 wave to Ucalegon,38 and let's off!

Respair! Respair! Happy new year!

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3

With difficulty recognizing our own emotions

5

Reading too much into the text

6

Reading carefully or carelessly

7

Expressing opinions without knowledge

10

Accustomed to super salty environments

14

Dwellers of moderate environments

20

Similar to samatta or snoo

21

Similar to Grecian urns

23

The day before yesterday

24

Fear of one's mother-in-law

31

Small quantities of leftovers

33

Resemblance to an ostrich

34

The smallest possible amount of desire

36

The part of your back that you can't reach

38

A neighbor whose house is on fire

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