Hits, Misses, and Things I'm Still Yelling About

I have a confession to make: when I first saw the trailer for this show, I did not find Belmont Cameli attractive. Outrageous, I know! But sometimes it takes seeing someone in motion for me to fully appreciate how good-looking they are. (Since we’re good friends, I’ll even admit I didn’t think Connor Storrie was cute until I watched Heated Rivalry).

But that ended the second Belmont’s slow, devastating smile stretched across my TV screen. He’s so charming and has that perfect blend of swagger and vulnerability that does it for me every time. And that dreamy smile really seals the deal. (Sidebar: does anyone else think he looks like Josh Radnor?)

Listen, I know Dean is blonde in the books, and I understand the desire to match on-screen characters to their book counterparts, but in my opinion, you either cast a blonde actor or you take creative license and work with what you’ve got. Those are the only two options. Once your hair and makeup department starts making a romantic lead less attractive for the sake of IP authenticity, we have lost the plot.

I complained about this when Josh Hutcherson’s hair was bleached to play Peeta Mellark, and now I’m back on my soapbox. Stephen Kalyn is simply too handsome to look like a low-budget Ken doll (Sidebar: does anyone else think he looks like Joaquin Consuelos?)

Her voice is incredible and I could not get enough of her musical moments on the show. Since finishing the series, I’ve been listening to her cover of Baby Now That I Found You on repeat.

I don’t remember Hannah’s singing being such a large focus in The Deal, but I have no complaints and certainly enjoyed it more than the unsubtle Liquid IV sponsorship. My husband, who normally falls asleep halfway through an episode, “miraculously” stayed awake for her karaoke performance of “Cherry Pie.” It was giving Coyote Ugly in the best way, and apparently, they didn’t serve water in this bar either. 10/10, no notes.

This is going to sound terrible since the scene following Hannah and Garrett’s breakup was centered around Hannah’s painful memories, but the filmography was cringey. The show is usually cheesy in a good way (the Cheetos are pretty on the nose), but this sequence just made me uncomfortable. Can we not just let this poor girl process her trauma while riding her bike at a natural speed? The slo-mo made me feel like I was watching a substance abuse prevention video.

To this end, I am also a mother and I was very upset that after everything she’d been through, Hannah was constantly walking alone/riding her bike alone at night! Girl, I am begging you: arrange to have a walking buddy, or at the very least, add yourself to Ali’s Find My Friends. You’re stressing me out.

On the flip side, I thought Hannah’s phone call with her own mom was beautifully handled, and I made sure to explain to my husband that “‘broken bike’” was a metaphor for how Hannah sees herself. Unfortunately, he did not appreciate this because he was asleep.

Sure, Garrett and Hannah had great chemistry and that episode five sex montage was (bites fist), but I have to be honest, Allie was my favorite character and I was far more invested in her relationship with Dean than Graham and Hannah’s. And I think their chemistry was arguably stronger? I adored their storyline and I am really looking forward to next season’s love triangle with Hunter “Human Sweater Vest” Davenport, who looks like he came straight from Gossip Girl’s central casting. (Btw if you like messy brunettes named Allie/Ali and men who wear cardigans in bars, I think you’d love this book).

I have saved my biggest grievance for last because I yelled about it for the duration of this show and am unlikely to stop anytime soon. WHY IS THIS HOCKEY HOUSE SO CLEAN?!? I’m an adult woman who pays for weekly housekeeping, and my home is nowhere near as tidy as this house full of college-aged boys (Also, why is no one ever home?!)

I spent a lot of time in frat houses during my side bangs era (2004-2008), and based on my anthropological research, I can assure you that not one of these residences possessed:

• soap

• toilet paper

• food in the refrigerator

• a second refrigerator that also had food?

On the contrary, every surface in those houses would’ve required either industrial-grade disinfectant—or possibly an exorcism—to make them habitable. The closest those frat boys ever came to “nesting” was one memorable night when they got so drunk they started hurling furniture over the top-floor landing.

To this end, I was dry-heaving during the scene where Allie and Dean were in the tub together. I truly cannot think of anything more disgusting that a frat house bathtub. That is the stuff of nightmares. If you asked me whenever I’d rather take a bath in a boy house tub or get buried alive à la Nate Jacobs, I would genuinely need to think about it.

Well, that’s all I have. Let me know what you loved and hated in the comments! Also, if you would preorder my newest book, I’d be positively delighted.

Until next time,

<3 Lindsay