Next to Godliness

Dear friends,

Sometimes it’s my job — and my honor — to bring you niche controversies from random corners of the internet, because they can be juicy, but also because they are interesting and say something deeper about who we are and the way we live.

Today’s kerfuffle comes courtesy of “CleanTok,” the part of TikTok where people typically post housekeeping tips and routines, and maybe push products like a weekly checklist or their favorite Amazon tools.

Kylie Perkins, a 27-year-old woman in North Carolina, has — really in the last few days — blown up on the platform with her “motivational” cleaning videos, which feature her folding laundry, wiping down her kitchen, or opening her blinds.

In most of her posts, she’s yelling.

Kylie Perkins (@sociallykylie) via TikTok

Perkins says that young mothers like her who have fallen behind on cleaning are being “lazy”; that dishes left overnight in the sink are “disgusting”; that a diagnosis of illness is “an answer, not an excuse” for someone who is overwhelmed by daily tasks.

Maybe some tough love can be helpful at times — and it’s definitely resonating with people and getting them to straighten up, for now.

But people online have been pointing out that the idea that self-blame is an effective strategy is misguided; there’s actually solid evidence for self-compassion as the best framework for making behavior changes over the long term. In turn, Perkins has cautioned her 2 million followers to steer clear of dangerous “enablers” who favor a more compassionate approach.

Controversy was swirling even before one influencer made a video speculating that Perkins was a Trump supporter and urging people to unfollow her because of that. In response, more than 1 million people, many of them conservatives, followed Perkins in the last few days.

I told my editor on Monday that I was certain a book or podcast deal would fall into place for Perkins by next month. But it probably won’t take that long. Last night, on TikTok Live, Perkins said she’d signed with a talent agency that has an in-house podcasting service.

It all got me thinking about the politics of self-talk and keeping house.

xo,

Lindsay